My mother the Angel (Melek) - I

My mother the Angel (Melek) - I My mother’s name is Melek: literally “Angel”. Few people live up to the meaning of their name. My mother did, through and through. The cleaning lady coming to our house was her guest at the breakfast table. They would clean the house together all day long, lunch together, and do afternoon tea before it was time for her to leave. My mother would make sure to pack food for the lady’s children to take home. She was the to-go-person and mentor for many a young women in the neighborhoods that we lived throughout my childhood into my young adulthood. I remember a construction worker, Bayram and his wife, Saniye, who had moved to our neighborhood from their village in a remote and poor province in Anatolia with their skinny son, Cengiz. They were living in a dark studio in the basement of the next-door house. My mom took Saniye under her wings and not only taught her how to read and write but also how to knit and crochet, two of many talents, my mom had mastered. Saniye, under the loving guidance of my mother, learned how to be a better woman, mother, wife, and neighbor; I could observe, even with the limited understanding of an 8–11 year old girl. Saniye starte3d getting dressed not like a countryside woman, but as a working class urban woman; she wasn’t screaming at her son with his wrongdoings after a while, but redirecting him lovingly, she learned to speak Izmir Turkish and gained the respect of the other neighbors, all I could tell was due to my mom's influence on her. There’s no end to the stories about how angelic she was to her neighbors, to some of whom she taught how to cook, for some she made dresses, for others, she knitted sweaters, on and on it goes… The elderly in both my mother’s and father’s side of the family enjoyed my mother’s excellent nursing skills and loving care at the end of their lives; my paternal grandmother, my paternal two great-aunts, my paternal aunt, and finally, my maternal grandmother, who lived with my mother for the last two years of her life with her terminal stage colon cancer. Her home and summer house were always pristine clean that disseminated light and peace. Not only that, she was omnipresent in even the homes of her three adult children with whatever was needed thanks to her bigger than life heart, endless energy, and boundless love. Whenever I invited my friends over to have dinner at my house, her angelic invisible touch would appear at my house and prepare the most delicious dishes the day of and before the dinner party. Her home was open to my friends, most of whom knew my mother intimately, who enjoyed many a dish, unique to our Cretan cuisine at her kitchen and always returned to have more of it over the years. Then, an unfortunate accident left my dear angel disabled, unable to use one half of her body with poor short term memory and she became a dependent adult. The accident left her with less than optimal inner resources to deal with this most difficult task one can experience. Becoming physically dependent on others would require drawing such humility and letting go to trust and leave the care of her body to others, which my mother's cortical brain could not accomplish. The need to control her life was diminished to smoking as much as she pleased and her elimination functions. Mama, you spent the last 20 years of your life with this disability since 2002. One half of my brain says with the voice of the adult that I am, "You challenged life with such fierce passion when it challenged you Mother, to persist with as much dignity as you could muster despite the difficulties your disability imposed on you, it is time to rest in peace surrounded with all the light you deserve”. But the other side of the little girl in me that I cherish, sobs “I will miss you Mama, your soft hands, your eyes full of love, your hugs, despite my white hair, how safe I felt in your arms, the sparks reflecting your old self even in the last 20 years; I’ll miss you unbearably”. It’s been barely 48 hours since you left us. Do you know how many people already told me “Auntie Melek has a very special place in my heart” followed with unique experiences each had with you that I didn't even know. İzmir is lucky to have raised and seen an angel like my mother, who spread peace, happiness, and love to all those that she touched. Thank your mother, for being the woman you have been, for making me the woman that I am. Rest in peace and light, at last...