ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN 2018 - 2 - GOOD NEWS, GOOD MUSIC, GOOD PEOPLE

 

Hotel Serena is where I will stay for four days in Islamabad, which is quite different than the hotel we had stayed at in Lahore in November. Serena as its name suggests, has character, it has the persona of Pakistan, it reflects this land’s culture and its people, I feel more at home here. Breakfast is a fabulous display of Pakistani and western food. Luckily, the cuisines are distinctly separated from one another, and I don’t have to open every single container. I move straight to Pakistani cuisine section and load my platter with little bit of each of the unique dishes. Cucumber juice and sweet melon juice are two juices that I had never had before, what a treat. The latter, I will settle down with for breakfast, it is delicious and refreshing.
 

Almost every Pakistani dish is served with its uniquely paired sauce!

 

After breakfast, I explore how to get around to see couple of sites in Islamabad. My hosts and hotel staff tell me, Rajah Bazaar that I was considering is out of question: NOT SAFE. When locals tell me it is not safe, I oblige.  It looks like my only option is to rent a car and a driver, the service available here at the hotel. The driver will take me to places, stay with me all along and bring me back if I pay for time, gas, and tax. An estimate of 3800 rupees for half a day, close to $40! More than reasonable. And it will be an opportunity to encounter a local. I take it.

I enjoy observing people interacting in the rigshaws that we follow occasionally

My driver is a reserved young man, I know it is my call how much he and I may connect. I ask him his name, it is John; hmmm, interesting, is he not Muslim as everybody else seems to be here… I don’t ask. I tell him my name, he shakes hands comfortably. He catches the structure of my name suggesting Muslim/Arabic origin. He is delighted to hear that I am from Turkey, puts his hand over his heart and tells me “We love Turkish people, they are brothers to us”. He is forgetting the sisters part, but I am used to it, he still has a good heart, I can tell. Mission accomplished, we are connected! 
Approaching Shah Faisal Mosque in Islamabad

Our first destination is Shah Faisal Mosque, a pure white beauty of modern architecture. Apparently, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia had given this mosque to Pakistan as a gift when Islamabad, which was identified as the capital city to be built, way back. We can’t enter inside the mosque since it is open only on Fridays, the holy day for Muslims. The courtyard is as spectacular as that of the Shah Biruj Mosque in Lahore. This could and does regularly accommodate tens of thousands of Muslims every Friday.

The vast courtyard of Shah Faisal Mosque that accommodates tens of thousands of believers

 

Then we head to Saidpur, reportedly the oldest village around Islamabad. Islamabad and Ankara interestingly, seem to have a similar history.  Both were millennia old small villages until and through the process of the liberation of their respective nation. During their independence struggle, in search of a settlement with no negative connotation related to the past, each country identified its small village and its vicinity to be appropriate locations to establish the capital of their nation. My driver tells me, we will see a very old house in Saidpur that was used as the temple for Hindu worshippers in the village's hey day. I will see that this house tells the story of Islamabad, too. 

Hindu Temple in Saidpur, one of the oldest villages around Islamabad 

The modern capital in each country is similar to one another, too. Green and lush with a modern look, wide avenues, beautiful architecture, and culture… I wish this old town had been slightly better groomed as they did with the old village of Ankara in Turkey, but oh well, it is still a sweet place to visit. John, takes me to the oldest home in town, which was one of the Hindu temples. When I ask John, whether he is a Muslim, he discloses that he is Christian. He also tells me that 95% of Islamabad population is Muslim, 3% Christian, and 2% Hindu.

I wonder if piano playing is allowed to Muslims in Pakistan
 
I can’t believe there are Christians in Pakistan, how ignorant of me. I can’t help but ask him whether there is any discrimination against Christians, I assume that against Hindus due to the well-known tension between Pakistan and India over the Kashmir area. He tells me unfortunately there is, I am not surprised.  I now feel comfortable asking him about his family. Starting with children, I have discovered over the years is always the safest approach in Muslim countries. He is pleased that I ask; he has three children, oldest a 16 year-old daughter, who is in school: Phew, thank goodness. I reinforce his wisdom in supporting his daughter’s education. She will go to college to study pre-medicine. She might go to medical school, but it is very expensive and even public universities cost too much with no state aid to those who cannot afford the cost.

Farah the speaker at the conference I will attend is the most modern looking of the four well-educated women leaders

He shows me the pictures of both his "girls"; mother and daughter are both beautiful and attractive. He has two younger boys, who are both in school as well. It is very reassuring to hear that in his family there is no difference in investing in the education of his children based on gender. Just like mine. In fact my father used to vow: "If boys don't want to go to school, they may go learn a trade, no pressure. But my daughter will have a good education, she won't be dependent on a man!" He kept his vow, raised me in such a way, there was no option but learn forever, thank you my dear father... 

My daughter's graduation from medical school will take place 2 months after my return from Pakistan

My driver asks me whether I have a child or not, and I tell him about my 33 year-old daughter. I don’t know at that moment that my daughter has matched to a psychiatry program in New York City for residency, the good news will have to wait until dinner time. On the way back, he takes me to a fine textile shop where I buy beautiful fine cashmere shawls for myself and my friends as well as hand embroidered pillow cases for my daughter. When we return to the hotel, jet lag hits me hard and all I can do is bed collapse in my bed for two hours straight.

Saidpur from a higher terrace with Islamabad in the distance

After I take a half-hour swim in the pool, on the way to the restaurant for dinner, a beautiful melody guides me to a grand piano. A young Pakistani man is playing a soothing tune, which he occasionally embellishes in his own beautiful way. I really like this Serena Hotel, its name is very becoming to its architecture, its interior design, its sounds, its staff, a true oasis that reflects the spirit of Pakistan’s capital Islamabad.  After taking a few video clips of his music to share with my friends, I settle down at the table right across from him at the entrance of the restaurant to continue savoring his music along with savoring the delicious flavors of all Pakistani food. One of my dear friends, with whom I share one of the videos, can’t believe I am in Pakistan!
 

Beautiful mosaic on the floor at Serena Hotel 

Just as I am savoring the egg halwa, the best dessert made with semolina flour, I have ever eaten, the screen of my cell phone lights up. Two lines from my daughter on the screen putting a happy end to our immigration saga: she matched with a psychiatry residency program. She will know with which of the three programs she interviewed with she matched in 4 days. We pretty much knew she would match with all the positive feedback she had gotten from all three programs, but as they say “before seeing the stamped paperwork, don’t believe anything…” She apparently believed in herself to such an extent, she took off to the road to Mexico before finding out whether she had matched or not. That’s my girl, she does everything she can that is in her power, then leaves the rest to the universe…

My daughter on her graduation with our "family" in the USA

She has transformed herself from a typical Turkish girl energized by anxiety and worries taking constant preemptive measures to dwarf any perceived catastrophe that might take place in the future (or not!), to one in the last 7-8 years, who strives to stay in the moment much more than her mother had ever managed to do. She has become my role model in many ways. That is how our life together turned into almost a beautiful tango: I have created a strong base, around which she embroidered all the intricate details of an elegant dance, which carried us both to territories we never could dream of doing alone.
 

Everybody who attended my daughter's graduation ceremony and party played a significant role in her success 

I recall the turning point in our relationship in terms of changing roles of leading. It was when I had had a horrible sinus arrhythmia after a high altitude hike: I had run out of water 2/3 of the hike and had to start “eating handfuls of snow”. I had lost the trail at a large opening covered with 2-3 feet of snow and in my attempts trying to find the trail, I had lost my directional orientation as well. The stress related to time topped it all: The sun had started setting when I still had 2-3 more miles to cover without knowing which direction even to go. Eventually, an unexpected hiker, who knew where he was going had helped me and all had turned out fine, except that the experience had left me with an arrhythmia that had lasted for several days.
 

Another beautiful mosaic from Serena Hotel

 

When I shared this experience with my daughter 7 years ago, she made this statement “Mom, you put your anxiety to work to accomplish all the things you have throughout your life, but your heart is talking to you now. You must listen to it”. Who knows how she felt the dismissiveness in my heart across the phone line, she continued “I know you won’t take me seriously, but please read about anxiety, I know when you learn something, you won’t turn a blind eye to it.” And, that, I took seriously, and I did read about anxiety and I did find out she was right. That was the first but not the last time she led me toward a healthier, happier future. That, I learned on the spot, was what “every generation surpasses the one before them” meant.

Beautiful kilims used as upholstery in armchairs at Serena Hotel 

This turning point led to both of us engaging in mindfulness and meditation with more dedication and better understanding. I started doing yoga, and our mutual growth took a different path that at least I landed on the path of Buddhist philosophy and psychology as a novice learner. Am I grateful to my daughter and my ability to trust the young generation’s wisdom, which in many ways is surpassing our generation’s. And here we are, this precious being, what I still believe is the best thing I created in my 59 years, will become a psychiatrist with a plan to dedicate her professional efforts to lifting homeless people by providing them mental health services. Boy, do I trust her, and do I feel how lucky her clients and patients will be…

Traditional Pakistani music also sounds beautiful in this serene Hotel 

As soon as I am done with eating, with texting our entire “village” back in the US, in Turkey, even around the world of Zeynep’s good news, and holding the most peaceful and joyful video conferencing with my daughter, I am back to the open lounge where the sweet young pianist is still playing. It seems like he is happy to see me again. He asks me where I am from. As invariably every Pakistani does, his face lights up when he hears I am from Turkey and starts playing even more enthusiastically.
 

My daughter's best friend Paulinka as we call her in the "family"

 

There could be no better ending to my first day in Islamabad than this constellation. Good news from my daughter, this beautiful music, and heart-warming comments from scores of my friends scattered all around the world… Joy surpasses the amount of oxygen in the air, I am dizzy with happiness.