Pakistani people are very sweet. As time goes on they grow
on me day by day. It is interesting that overwhelming majority of professionals
are males, the few women I encounter at the conference will turn out to have
had some of their training in the UK or England. However, one resident tells me that,
in her hospital, 70% of pediatric residents is female. Perhaps, as they become more
senior, males tend to move toward administrative and leadership roles more and more, isn't it true even in the US, though?
Pakistani people are very imitate with one another, even in traffic!
I am asked to give a lecture to the Department of Pediatrics at a large free-standing children’s hospital. The department head, and three other pediatricians, one of whom is a very strong female pediatrician with training from the UK are all interested in politics in Turkey. Our brief conversation reveals that they are very reasonable, open-minded, critical thinkers. I learn later on that the power monger Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who is the oppressive president of Turkey is a beloved figure in Pakistan!!!
Looking at the billboards from Erdogan's 2017 visit to Pakistan, at least Pakistani government must loooove, Erdogan!...
Perhaps that was the reason for all that questioning. When we had this discussion, I didn't even know that the recent monarch Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey has passed a law that will exonerate civil militia, who kill Fethullah Gulen supporters, who was the cleric behind the attempted coup of 2016. This is an attempt to legalize his mob in preparation for a true civil war in Turkey if it comes to it that Turkish and Kurdish population may manage to vote out Erdogan and his party AKP. I hope I was able to help them understand the brutal realities in Turkish politics.
Pakistani people are very imitate with one another, even in traffic!
I am asked to give a lecture to the Department of Pediatrics at a large free-standing children’s hospital. The department head, and three other pediatricians, one of whom is a very strong female pediatrician with training from the UK are all interested in politics in Turkey. Our brief conversation reveals that they are very reasonable, open-minded, critical thinkers. I learn later on that the power monger Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who is the oppressive president of Turkey is a beloved figure in Pakistan!!!
Perhaps that was the reason for all that questioning. When we had this discussion, I didn't even know that the recent monarch Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey has passed a law that will exonerate civil militia, who kill Fethullah Gulen supporters, who was the cleric behind the attempted coup of 2016. This is an attempt to legalize his mob in preparation for a true civil war in Turkey if it comes to it that Turkish and Kurdish population may manage to vote out Erdogan and his party AKP. I hope I was able to help them understand the brutal realities in Turkish politics.
One of the cooks poses for me with delight showing the bread he just made
The staff at the hotel is also very kind and measured.
Although the first night, when I go down to the gym and swimming pool, I try
not to have eye contact with an all-men staff and trainees, gradually I
discover that they are not that uncomfortable with an occasional greeting as
long as my attire is acceptable: I have to share here the huge cultural incompetency I displayed the first night after my
swim following my exercise on the treadmill. Since I hadn't seen anybody around on the way down to the gym and this probably "seven-star" hotel is a piece of Western culture beamed down to Pakistan, after I am done in the pool I totally forget that I am in a Muslim country!
Another cook sautéing a traditional Pakistani dish
Had I been more mindful and culturally and geographically competent, I would have changed my swimsuit and put on my exercise attire that I came down with, and all would have been fine. Instead, almost forgetting where I am (!) I
wrap a big towel around my body with my swimming suit on just as I do in a hotel in the western world. The moment I arrive at the elevator, some 8-10 young male trainees appear through a door, who knows where it leads, to get on the same elevator I am waiting for! I wake up to the fact that I am in Pakistan and these are all Muslim men!
Unfortunately, Kur'an does say all that is listed on the internet picture: I hope Islam goes through a reform just as other monotheistic religions pretty much did do give just a bit more freedom to women in exclusively Muslim countries
Too late, poor guys suffer with just not knowing where to set their looks to avoid seeing me, the exact image Satan described in Kur'an: Beware of women, their hair, skin, and other body parts will trick you to sin!!! Here I am, with most of my skin and all of my hair exposed to these men's eyes... I know this is a “no,
no”, in this country, but now also understand it must be true even at this “seven-star” hotel. I bet in their
minds, I was a foreigner displaying the exact evil that Kur’an claims to
originate from women. Shame on me, I should have been more considerate.
Learning never ends…
This is the attire that is safest for women when they do not have their men with them in Pakistan and many other Muslim countries
Another feature I like about the staff is that they seem to
be genuinely interested in or well-trained on helping the guests. I never see
the calculating tip-seeking behaviors. Even when one is tipped, you see that
sheepish shy look on their faces. One evening, I ride the elevator with a young
house-keeping man. We chat up over small talk, as I get off the elevator, he
offers very innocently “Let me help you open the door”. I gratefully decline
and he stops. This never happened to me before at any hotel all around the world. I contemplate multiple options behind this behavior: Is this part of this “seven star” hotel culture and training? Is colonial exploitation and brain-washing history behind this desire to serve somebody they perceive to be a Westerner, in
the best way they can? Or is he simply responding to the tip I leave every
morning on my desk? Again something I will never find an answer to, since even
asking about this would be rude…
Is the gentleman in gray suit posing to me as I take this picture from the car?
My 48 hours in Lahore flies by unbelievably quickly. My
colleagues have organized a very productive series of workshops, lectures that
stretch the conference activities to some 12-15 hospitals and other child
protection related agencies in the greater Lahore. All of the international
speakers are assigned not only to give at least one lecture at the conference
itself, but also to do a didactic session in other settings all around Lahore.
I hear from Figen that her teaching activities will continue on her way to
AzadKashmir section of Pakistan, which they will visit next week. Good for
them, once brought in, they should indeed make the best use of us to move the
agenda forward in Pakistan.
Sun barely discernible behind the smog
My heart goes to my dear friend Figen one more time, with
whom I re-connected at a deeper level of our souls during this visit. She is a heart
of gold, who also wants to do the best for whatever audience she comes into
contact with. She has done great work for Turkey and co-led around 12
universities in Turkey to establish university based child protection centers
with missions of service, teaching and research. She is now willing to take a
week off from her busy schedule to travel north with our Pakistani colleagues
to do positive parenting education in multiple communities. What a dedicated
heart. I am grateful to Naeem for bringing us together in Lahore.
Lahore is in Punjab, Pakistanis control Azad Kashmir and claim the white-striped pink area of Kashmir also belongs to Pakistan, an area of tension between Pakistan and India
Figen and I have not seen each other for a few years. There
is much to talk about other than professional progress and challenges. We
discover inch by inch that during the years of not seeing each other much, we
have actually traveled on similar personal growth paths. What she describes as love
based interpersonal relationships training turns out to be loving kindness,
equanimity, compassion and joy, the four noble truths that every budhist
instructor teaches from Pema Chodron to Thich Nhat Hanh to Jack Cornfield, some
of the masters I enjoy reading and learning from.
This is exactly what my friend and I did in Lahore that led to discovering that we are on the same path to growth
After this brief catch up, I
already feel connected to her at a higher and deeper level and she is on my
list of the gifts of life I go through in my gratefulness scanning before bed
that I have adopted in the last year or two. I am so happy that I had brought
to her and her husband a small gift of one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books “How to
love”, which I chose as a Christmas gift item for all my friends this year… As
Figen and I share, we human kind is on this earth for love and love alone,
everything that we do all our lives is to give love and receive love. And both
of us feel that we are very fortunate to have so much love in our lives. Thanks
to the universe and the good that we have found on our paths…
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I wish Indians and Pakistanis could understand one another over Kashmir problem to bring peace to all living in that part of the world
I am doing a meditation focusing on forgiving, it is a great experience, highly recommended...
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2 comments:
Resmiye, what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. Navigating our differences with respect is a beautiful thing you do so well. Wishing you all the best for 2018.
we are constantly on trial in that dear Vicki. have a wonderful 2018!
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