48 HOURS IN PAKISTAN 2017 - 5 - FOOD NEVER FAILS TO CONNECT PEOPLE

On my first full day in Lahore as part of the larger South Asian Child Abuse Conference, I am assigned to give a lecture to faculty, residents and medical students at the Services Hospital, which has two pediatric departments with 100 bed-capacity each. I meet with two department heads: The one who is hosting me is a feisty female doctor, wearing her traditional shalvar kamiz, but her shawl is around her neck rather than over her head.

An internet picture of a gynecology department staff highlights the diversity of attire of women I saw at the Services Hospital in Lahore

She is not only a beautiful woman in her forties perhaps, but also a very intelligent one whose eyes radiate sparks of wit. We connect very quickly, later on the other department head who seems to be an observant and wise man joins us along with a few other faculty and we have coffee. We not only have a very productive training but also a friendly quick lunch afterwards, during which we have a heart to heart discussion about Turkish politics. I feel more connected to them upon discovering that these are a bunch of critical thinkers, men and women, not part of the herd…


The department head doing rounds in the Newborn Nursery

Another impressive group of people I will meet in the afternoon is faculty from the departments of art, film and journalism of the University of Lahore, who discuss how arts can contribute to the prevention of child abuse and neglect in Pakistan.  My mind is blown away with delight that I have the privilege to meet this smart, secular, open minded, and egalitarian section of Pakistani society. My heart cringes with the thought of how difficult it must be for these bigger-than-life people to struggle with the confinement fundamentalist Islam is pumping all over their country and to find enough space to breath for themselves…

The international organizers and speakers of the South Asian Child Maltreatment Conference held in Lahore

It is very clear that after this conversation and humble lunch we all enjoy we are more connected at human level beyond professional level. I suspect, the warmth I feel among us somewhat comes from me doing as Romans do, when in Rome: I use my fingers to eat, even in this well educated circle just as they do! The male department head is interested in my social program and he volunteers to introduce me to his wife, we exchange whats-app connection numbers and he will indeed reach out to me in the afternoon. Alas, I will have to join the conference faculty for a special dinner organized for us. He understands, but we are connected, and he will remain my whats-app friend until the next time.

Students of all colors and attire on University of Lahore Medical School campus

In the afternoon, I arrive at the main South Asia Maltreatment Conference, held on the campus of the University of Lahore. As soon as I walk in, I am asked to discuss sexual abuse with the Youth Forum, which is a day long satellite activity of the conference specifically for young people. It turns out all of them are undergraduates with an age range of 18-24. What variety of backgrounds and existential presence they display.

The students I met with during Youth Forum were as varied as these in terms of their attire.

Some of the women are behind the black of burka with only their eyes exposed, but I can see the apprehensive curiosity in their eyes: So similar to mine at age 17. I had just returned from the USA having completed my exchange year in a small town in Wisconsin. Modeling after my devout Lutheran friends, I had read Kur’an cover to cover to only discover the discrimination against women and God-Allah favoring men over women at every turn! Although my subconscious was in a turmoil of  shaken-up faith, my defection from Islamic belief system would have to wait for another two years until all the processing was complete and apprehension gone…

Benazhir Butto and Malala are also the women of this country, and I saw many of such women in my stay...

I wonder how many Resmiyes would have to share ideas of equanimity with these women so that they could first open up their faces to the world, and perhaps strip their head scarf, and finally dare to be themselves in their society… By the time I leave Pakistan this time, I will have observed that all the strong women with an open mind and less oppressed outer appearance I come into contact with come from families where both mothers and fathers were also open minded.

A must-read book if you haven't read, yet! 

Thus, they were allowed to be the equal members of the society by their loving kind parents and perhaps specifically their fathers, who treated them as equal to their sons. Benazhir Butto is the product of such a family. Malala, the little girl, who was almost killed by fundamentalists now a celebrity role model for all girls in Pakistan, supported by his enlightened father at every turn to be herself and thrive to her best capacity… These are heroes and heroines of this society, I hope they increase in number day by day and year by year… There are other women, who are lightly and more colorfully covered in a modest way. Another group is pretty much ornamentally covered! And finally a small group is not covered at all. There is one among them, who is a little feisty feminist, I bet. She has answers to all the questions I pose to increase interactivity. And most of her responses are right on target with the messages I try to convey. She is a philosopher and a fighter for women’s rights in the making if not already a leader in her own group. I feel bad that I get dragged away after our session to another responsibility that prevents me from having longer one-on-one discussion with her.  

Men's attire on campus is closer to western style with some shalvar kamiz wearers...

Men are difficult to read. Their attire is not that revealing, some wear shalvar kamiz, a lot of young people wear jeans and pants, though. A lot of them wear western attire. There is one such young man in my session and his participation in the discussions also reveals that he carries an enlightened head over his shoulders. Lastly, there is one that has darker skin compared to his peers and he is sitting all by himself in a block separated from his peers by an aisle. He brings up the societal trauma the cast system brings on those that are discriminated. Once he brings up this issue with great passion, I wonder if his seating is reflection of his self-segregation, which might have been imposed upon him and his peers for generations… I wish I could help these three in some way. Perhaps, I will reach out to Malek, who organized this youth session and ask for help to identify these young people and ask them if I could do anything for them for their future. Yes, I should definitely do that.

Salt & Pepper, a very authentic restaurant in Lahore "The village"

After all the sessions, our hosts take us to a beautifully traditional restaurant that is called “The village”. It is indeed a village consisting of many food stations as if you are in a food court. Beyond being extremely authentic, the food is tremendously varied, and delicious: Pakistani food in at least Lahore is more on meats, mutton, which is their goat meat, some chicken and some fish. I have never had such soft, well- cooked goat meat in my life. I am discovering meal after meal that Pakistanis create wonders with their use of spices. One could come here to study the science of endless combinations of spices.

One of the dessert corners at the Salt & Pepper

There is a station where pitas are being made, another one for Chinese delicacies, another one for salads, spinach is big here, sautéed and served hot with a cold ball of butter on top, which dissolves into the lump of spinach, delicious. Another station displays Thai foods, since I am here to try all the Pakistani food I can, I just remain curious about whether Thai and Chinese dishes have been converted to appeal to Pakistani palate as it happens to all cuisines in the USA or not, remain with my curiosity, exploring Pakistani stations. 

Pitas being fried by a cook accustomed to having pictures taken by visitors like I

The hall around which all the food stations are lined is almost a place of festivity. Everybody picks up a plate, samples bites of the variety of food, I bet semi fill themselves with this sampling process, then proceed to mounting their plate with the food they like! No wonder every Pakistani man of a certain age, beyond 30s it seems, has a belly of various sizes… Most foods are fried and even sautéed foods are cooked in generous amounts of oil, hence, most people here are toward the chubby side of the panorama, however, there is very little overt obesity, a good thing.  

My favorite dish chicken and goat kebab

I do as Romans do again, and try several small bites of foods and finally settle down on meat kebab, generous portion of mutton, potato, mushroom, and chickpea dishes. I am glad to discover that all the desserts are milk based pretty much, which saves me from more calories thanks to my lactose intolerance. By the end of the evening, I still feel like I have eaten enough to last me for three days although what I ate is a mere small portion of what, especially Pakistani male colleagues have eaten!

Shikanji, sweet lemon juice that Pakistanis call lemonade with no added sugar

Breakfasts are served at the hotel over a very rich variety of western and Pakistani foods it seems. I have to get my liquids in first thing in the morning: I order green tea, down couple of glasses of water. The leader of the serving team recommends me to try their sweet lemon juice. I do, it is indeed sweet and they call it lemonade, I assume there is sugar in it. There isn’t, it is its own fructose I learn. Basically it is a pale orange juice. Later on I will learn from my colleagues that some people call it white orange juice. Whatever the name is it is delicious, I will enjoy two glasses of it both mornings of my stay at the hotel.

Breakfast variety at my hotel was similar to this, you can tell what is Pakistani and what is not

I walk by the food display and start opening each of the hot food cauldrons one by one. Pancakes, sausages, eggs, French toast… I pass by each one of them rather quickly. The head server has a keen eye, he recognizes that I am looking for Pakistani food. He approaches me with grace and introduces the authentic Pakistani breakfast on display, which consists of braised/sautéed chicken, potatoes, and chickpeas. I am for it.

Shooking is the delicious chickpea dish with shavings of ginger root

I have never had chicken leg for breakfast, this is a first! My favorite is the vegetarian stuff garnished with shavings of fresh ginger root, to die for. Even the Village will not compete with the deliciousness of these two dishes, I should learn how to make… I go back and get a second serving of the chickpea dish before I try their ripe papaya that calls my name. It is interesting to see numerous banana vendors wherever fruit sellers conglomerate. I am surprised to discover that Pakistan produces lots of banana and some of the tropical and subtropical fruits. I guess, the fact that 7 out of ten highest mountains of the world are within the borders of Pakistan must have given me an inaccurate perception that Pakistan must be a cold country through and through, which is not true. Even Lahore, quite up north and inland has mild temperatures at this time of the year although the heavy smog doesn’t allow the sun show her face over the 48 hours I spend in town.

Banana vendors are everywhere in Lahore

Time and time again I will observe how we all want to be accepted wherever we are on earth: My simple interest in Pakistani food creates a loving connection between this white haired woman and young Pakistanis. When they hear I am from Turkey as well as America, they embrace me back with an even much warmer welcome. My colleagues all smile with affection as they see me devour the foods that they so love. Just one “shukriyah”, thank you in Urdu makes faces and hearts open up. Buddhism indeed is true, beyond and in depths of all of us is a good, loving kind heart of gold; if only we can find the right path to reach and touch, and bring it out...

Art in unexpected places in Lahore...