I never thought a mall could be a place where I'd choose to spend a whole afternoon while visiting a new country! But that's exactly what my friend and I did. After all this visit was planned to be more a gift for my friend and I. And that's exactly what we are doing, regardless of where we spend our time. Here we are on my second day in Entebbe, having a relaxing afternoon at the Victoria Mall! Across from the mall is a set of make-shift shops where young
women have on display, full of colors of all kinds, Uganda textiles. I touch
them, they are of good quality, at least for a time… I know my daughter will
love them. I make a plan to come back here and buy my gifts from these stores for
those back home.
Stalls like this is abundant all over Africa I learn
My friend finds a short-cut down to the lake front where the restaurants are and we arrive at the water front much faster. As we are walking along the waterfront road, a group of young African women surround us. One of them Joy, is wearing a dress with the brightest yellow I have seen and has a baby in her arms named Jason. There is a toddler Terry, and a kindergarten age kid Elvis among them. They would like to have pictures taken with me! Just like in Pakistan, I still haven’t understood what it is they get from a picture with a white haired woman… But I am here to be gifted with human connection and here is an opportunity. I take it...
Young African mothers and their offspring posing with me
One picture becomes, three, five, ten, then they ask for individual pictures with me and with us, too. We both oblige all smiles... When we say good bye to Joy, Sandra, Susan, and Caro, we are still all smiles. I can’t help but recall Pema Chodron’s “Remember, everybody you cross paths with would like to be happy just like you do.” How true, and easy to do. After walking along the beach for some time, we settle down at another restaurant, but this time at a table right on the beach. My friend decides to read the book “Alchemist” by Paulo Cuelho that I had sent to him as a Christmas gift. I would like to meditate to the melody of the waves. There is a tree trump on the beach nearby. I sit in half lotus position, take a few deep breaths, tears start rolling down my cheeks. I don’t fight back, I cradle my sadness in loving kindness. The tears wetting my cheeks are for what our generation went through in our efforts to help the most needy, I for abused and neglected children and abusive and neglectful families, my friend for victims of torture and atrocities all over the world, specifically in the context of political uprising. These are cleansing tears...
Stalls like this is abundant all over Africa I learn
My friend finds a short-cut down to the lake front where the restaurants are and we arrive at the water front much faster. As we are walking along the waterfront road, a group of young African women surround us. One of them Joy, is wearing a dress with the brightest yellow I have seen and has a baby in her arms named Jason. There is a toddler Terry, and a kindergarten age kid Elvis among them. They would like to have pictures taken with me! Just like in Pakistan, I still haven’t understood what it is they get from a picture with a white haired woman… But I am here to be gifted with human connection and here is an opportunity. I take it...
One picture becomes, three, five, ten, then they ask for individual pictures with me and with us, too. We both oblige all smiles... When we say good bye to Joy, Sandra, Susan, and Caro, we are still all smiles. I can’t help but recall Pema Chodron’s “Remember, everybody you cross paths with would like to be happy just like you do.” How true, and easy to do. After walking along the beach for some time, we settle down at another restaurant, but this time at a table right on the beach. My friend decides to read the book “Alchemist” by Paulo Cuelho that I had sent to him as a Christmas gift. I would like to meditate to the melody of the waves. There is a tree trump on the beach nearby. I sit in half lotus position, take a few deep breaths, tears start rolling down my cheeks. I don’t fight back, I cradle my sadness in loving kindness. The tears wetting my cheeks are for what our generation went through in our efforts to help the most needy, I for abused and neglected children and abusive and neglectful families, my friend for victims of torture and atrocities all over the world, specifically in the context of political uprising. These are cleansing tears...
My meditation is all about feelings. Instead of fighting
them to focus on my breath or the waves, I start observing them along with what
sensations they arise. I feel the wrinkles on my forehead as tears well up in
my eyes and how they first liberate themselves from in-between my eye lids, how
each one of them rolls down my cheeks creating an avenue of wetness for the
others to follow, how they find their path down onto my neck, some fat ones
even down my bosom… And as it always happens, when we allow what needs to come
out do so and accept what is without judgement with loving kindness, the
feeling is tampered, whatever it is, whatever quality it has. No more tears are
coming down, sadness has been taken care of kindly as Tich Nhat Hanh
recommends. Now thoughts are flooding my mind, I allow that to happen as
well: Thoughts come and go about the vicarious trauma, we both have experienced
on top of our personal ones, especially the cultural ones imposed on all of us
through Islam, through patriarchal society, lack of democracy, lack of freedom
of expression of even the most innocent thoughts and feelings as we waded through adolescence to adulthood.
Wildlife is all around us in Entebbe
Where our lives are heading, how we can we balance the good we are committed to continue doing for the world with our family lives and our loved ones’ and personal needs… What the world is going through, why there is so much malice and atrocity in the world, specifically in Africa.. What will follow our time, whether the elimination of all suffering, to the prevention of which we both have dedicated our professional lives is possible… They all come and go into the wide open sky. Now I can feel the space. Now I am able to hear the songs of the lake, of the waves, of the birds, of the distant murmurs of fellow humans in multiple languages, of a chuckle here and there, of the breeze shuffling the leaves of the variety of trees the restaurants rest under…
Africans enjoying the lake while we are afraid to touch it because of Billharziasis risk...
Radical acceptance is the only path to joy, of anything and everything; I am becoming more and more convinced of. I salute Tara Brach for writing on radical acceptance and my daughter who introduced me to Tara Brach some 5-6 years ago. Yes, without facing the beast, there is no way to let things dissolve into our past with peace to give way to space, peace, joy, love, and happiness. I finish with loving kindness meditation for myself, for my friend, his wife, his children, and for all beings. Now I am ready to enjoy a Guinness before dinner as I am watching a brother and sister playing with the waves on the shore.
Where our lives are heading, how we can we balance the good we are committed to continue doing for the world with our family lives and our loved ones’ and personal needs… What the world is going through, why there is so much malice and atrocity in the world, specifically in Africa.. What will follow our time, whether the elimination of all suffering, to the prevention of which we both have dedicated our professional lives is possible… They all come and go into the wide open sky. Now I can feel the space. Now I am able to hear the songs of the lake, of the waves, of the birds, of the distant murmurs of fellow humans in multiple languages, of a chuckle here and there, of the breeze shuffling the leaves of the variety of trees the restaurants rest under…
Radical acceptance is the only path to joy, of anything and everything; I am becoming more and more convinced of. I salute Tara Brach for writing on radical acceptance and my daughter who introduced me to Tara Brach some 5-6 years ago. Yes, without facing the beast, there is no way to let things dissolve into our past with peace to give way to space, peace, joy, love, and happiness. I finish with loving kindness meditation for myself, for my friend, his wife, his children, and for all beings. Now I am ready to enjoy a Guinness before dinner as I am watching a brother and sister playing with the waves on the shore.
As we set the sun, it has gotten chillier, we decide to move
beyond the plastic tarps into the patio. We order clear vegetable soup again,
chicken stew, and chicken pilau: spicy sautéed chicken over rice. As we wait
for our dinner to arrive, we DEET ourselves up, yet, once again. My friend having lived in
Africa for almost six months now recommends this for people who live in Africa
for long periods or come to Africa often: Do not use antimalaria prophylaxis;
apparently, if used but malaria is contracted, the symptoms are subdued and
diagnosis is established much later increasing the risk of complications and
prophylaxis also increases the risk of resistance to medications when treatment is necessary.
How do they protect themselves then? Day time is safe since
anopheles roam the land between dusk and dawn, in the dark. Thus, wear long
sleeved shirts and long pants after dark the mainstay practice. Apply concentrated DEET to
exposed skin including the scalp, the face, cuffs of sleeves, hems of the
pants when the "lights are out"! I tuck my pants into my socks every night. Throughout my stay there,
only one night, I will hear the buzz of a mosquito, out of all places, in my room! I must have brought it in within the curls of my hair. Luckily, it
doesn’t get into my mosquito net, and my friend declares that it hasn’t gotten
him, either.
I don’t know that I can live in Africa with all this
apprehension about getting sick; all the chemicals you have to leather yourself
with to avert mosquitos in fear of malaria; the need to avoid this beautiful
expanse of water in fear of bilharziasis; not being able to eat raw vegetables
in restaurants in fear of enteritis since the level of hygiene is so poor… I’ve
seen hunks of meat hanging in hot noon temperature in the window frame of a
make-shift 3x4x6 feet wooden structure that serves as a curb-side store. How
long has it been there? I saw our hostess keeping her rice with vegetables in a
pot sitting on the kitchen counter from morning till night time without even a
lid on it. Fish both on the lake front and downtown on wooden platforms with no
ice beneath or around them, sitting under the sun all day long… Most of what I see is simply about education, but of course ongoing civil wars and tribal feuds consume the limited resources to such an extent there is little left for health care, education, and improvement of lives with small interventions...
I am grateful that our hostess Claire stocks the refrigerator with
bottled water. Keith, Claire's British long term tenant will later tell me he never drinks anything out of the
bottle not knowing what the bottle head touched on the way to his hands.
However, the water bottles are sealed with a plastic wrap at the head which
covers the neck of the bottle that touches my mouth. I feel comfortable that
drinking out of a water bottle at least, is safe. Tomorrow will be our last full day together. My friend and I are making plans on how to spend it. It seems like going to Ngamba Island Chimpanzee Sanctuary is the best option:
I am a bit skeptical about this with my cynicism; why are 40 some monkeys kept
on an isolated island and not returned to the wild once they are treated for
whatever ailments they are there for. But being on the water safely for two
hours may bring sweet memories of all the boat tours I have done in the Aegean
and the Mediterranean in Turkey, Greece, and Lago Atitlan in Guatemala among
others… I submit, Ngamba Island is where we will go tomorrow.
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| Typical Entebbe neighborhood on the way to the coast |
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