In 2013, when it became clear that the Turkish colleagues that I had been working with for over a decade on systems building matters regarding child abuse and neglect had matured to a level, they could lead their own land and even start teaching others, I was able to move my international attention to other countries like Colombia, Greece, Portugal, Pakistan, among others.
My Turkish partners, with whom I carried out a 10-year long educational campaign in Turkey for systems building to prevent child abuse and neglect
As a result when the time I spent in Turkey annually was not as long as it used to be, I decided, I had to get together with The Coluk Combalak commune I always wanted to keep my connection with, in a different manner during my brief visits to Izmir. In fact all these years away from Turkey, The Coluk Combalak commune was what I certainly went back to every time I visited. Thus, we not only kept in contact but also every time we met, after filling in the blanks of the interim time, we picked up our friendship as if the distance in time and space had never existed. Nostalgia for our gatherings in each other's homes at least once a month with five kids running around the home guided me to how we could continue our unbreakable connection. Emerged from this exploration our annual to biannual get-togethers around long, savored home-made collective dinners in the home of one of the four families. The first reunion was quite unforgettable:
My dear bro Levent and I never posed with such submission to the moment than on this picture
My Turkish partners, with whom I carried out a 10-year long educational campaign in Turkey for systems building to prevent child abuse and neglect
As a result when the time I spent in Turkey annually was not as long as it used to be, I decided, I had to get together with The Coluk Combalak commune I always wanted to keep my connection with, in a different manner during my brief visits to Izmir. In fact all these years away from Turkey, The Coluk Combalak commune was what I certainly went back to every time I visited. Thus, we not only kept in contact but also every time we met, after filling in the blanks of the interim time, we picked up our friendship as if the distance in time and space had never existed. Nostalgia for our gatherings in each other's homes at least once a month with five kids running around the home guided me to how we could continue our unbreakable connection. Emerged from this exploration our annual to biannual get-togethers around long, savored home-made collective dinners in the home of one of the four families. The first reunion was quite unforgettable:
I brought from Iowa City crystal candle holders, in preparation for our reunion, two per family to light candles in honor of all the light we gave to each other and to our children over decades. I invited our clan with kids and all to my mother’s house so that my mother could also enjoy the reunion as a refreshed pleasant memory from our collective past. When we all lived very close to one another and only 2 miles away from my mother’s house in Bornova, it was mostly my mother, who would pour all her gourmet cooking talents onto my dinner table around which all my friends, and most commonly the members of Coluk Combalak would gather and devour her delicacies.
One of the 1400 wild greens that grow on the island of Crete, turned into a delicious salad in the hands of my Cretan mother that my friends all ended up trying at our dinner tables
That is how all members of Coluk Combalak, although not Cretan, learned about and to enjoy Cretan delicacies through my mom’s cooking, in my dining room; "radika-something from dandelions family", "arapsaci-maratha-wild fennel", "turp otu-raddish greens", among others. All adult members of the clan were there, happy to get together just like in the old days, visiting with each other, my mother and brother. My mother's relatively small living room-dining room area was brightened one more time.
Aysegul, who took care of our children for 5-6 years in her in-home day care with Gulce, the first bride to become and Ekin, two middle kids of our five
I knew that Zeynep my daughter was not coming from the USA, and learned that Baris, the youngest, who had a basketball game that he had to play in was not coming. Gulce, who is a lawyer in Istanbul, and Ekin, who was working at a trading bank in London were with us. I was disappointed that Umut, the second oldest of the clan was in Istanbul for the weekend, visiting from Vienna, where he worked at Siemens, but he chose to spend time with his girlfriend! This was not the Umut I knew, recalling the precious several days we had spent in Iowa City during his first visit to the USA.
Umut, when he visited us in Iowa City in October 2013
Not believing Umut could come to Istanbul but not bother to come to Izmir, I was constantly grilling the other two girls, the only kids available, considering they might be in better contact with one another. They also seemed to be exasperated with Umut's disinterest in our getting together. Oh well…As we were well into our constant “cheers” with raki glasses up in the air, the doorbell rang. Nobody expected at that hour of the night, but I was still hoping Umut could show up unexpectedly. My brother went to the door, The door opened. Being all ears, I was listening. My brother gave out a brief but loud “Ah!” as if to say, “It can’t be” or “Oh my gosh” or “Is this a dream?” or “Somebody pinch me…”
Another "bigger than life" person that has been constantly expanding my life, my best teacher, source of light, my daughter Zeynep and her dog Zela
My sister in-law followed to see what was happening at the door. Another “Ah!”, nothing more. As I was busy serving food, couple more people went to the door. But all we heard was the same “Ah!” followed with silence... When I finally went to the door, I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t in a dream. My daughter was at the door with her backpack and then-28 year-old self. Apparently, she was silencing every person, who went to the door, hence no words other than one single “Ah!” from everybody that crowded in front of the door. My joyful scream brought the rest of the clan to the door, which turned the vestibule into a festivity site. Gulce and Ekin, almost twins, although from two different families, came out into the vestibule, grinning. I looked at them with fake scorn and murmured “You brats, Umut is coming, too, I know it, he must be on his way here…”
Umut and Zeynep celebrating the trick they played on us at the door
Sure enough, in ten minutes, his taxi was by the apartment building calling us on his forever turned off phone. By that time we were all hanging down from the balcony, anyway... I even expected Baris to show up, after all this "Uhdunno"s of their big conspiracy... But he didn’t, his stuckness in Istanbul was real and that part of the story was true. I will never forget this adorable trick our children played on us.
November 2013 with four of my five kids! Baris understood the significance of this gathering and never missed one since...
That is when we discovered there was something called Whatsapp and that was how they had stayed connected and were able to cook up this plan of surprising us all. That night, a Coluk Combalak Whatsapp group was also created with help from Gulce and Ekin. Since then, for the last five years, although, our children are all over the world and I am half way across from the old world, we are connected day in day out like a family, which we are and we will remain...
Some of our village members that attended Zeynep's graduation party, Mary, her husband, and Greg, both Greg's late wife Candace's gifts to me
As my daughter recently said during her medical school graduation party, when some 30 members of our "village" in Iowa City joined us "Each and every one of you gave me something in this journey. Without all the support I received from every one of you, I couldn't have been where I am today." That is what we all were for each other in Izmir between 1987 and 1998 when my daughter and I still lived in Turkey. And I am in bliss to say that we still are across three continents now.
One of the 1400 wild greens that grow on the island of Crete, turned into a delicious salad in the hands of my Cretan mother that my friends all ended up trying at our dinner tables
That is how all members of Coluk Combalak, although not Cretan, learned about and to enjoy Cretan delicacies through my mom’s cooking, in my dining room; "radika-something from dandelions family", "arapsaci-maratha-wild fennel", "turp otu-raddish greens", among others. All adult members of the clan were there, happy to get together just like in the old days, visiting with each other, my mother and brother. My mother's relatively small living room-dining room area was brightened one more time.
I knew that Zeynep my daughter was not coming from the USA, and learned that Baris, the youngest, who had a basketball game that he had to play in was not coming. Gulce, who is a lawyer in Istanbul, and Ekin, who was working at a trading bank in London were with us. I was disappointed that Umut, the second oldest of the clan was in Istanbul for the weekend, visiting from Vienna, where he worked at Siemens, but he chose to spend time with his girlfriend! This was not the Umut I knew, recalling the precious several days we had spent in Iowa City during his first visit to the USA.
Not believing Umut could come to Istanbul but not bother to come to Izmir, I was constantly grilling the other two girls, the only kids available, considering they might be in better contact with one another. They also seemed to be exasperated with Umut's disinterest in our getting together. Oh well…As we were well into our constant “cheers” with raki glasses up in the air, the doorbell rang. Nobody expected at that hour of the night, but I was still hoping Umut could show up unexpectedly. My brother went to the door, The door opened. Being all ears, I was listening. My brother gave out a brief but loud “Ah!” as if to say, “It can’t be” or “Oh my gosh” or “Is this a dream?” or “Somebody pinch me…”
My sister in-law followed to see what was happening at the door. Another “Ah!”, nothing more. As I was busy serving food, couple more people went to the door. But all we heard was the same “Ah!” followed with silence... When I finally went to the door, I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t in a dream. My daughter was at the door with her backpack and then-28 year-old self. Apparently, she was silencing every person, who went to the door, hence no words other than one single “Ah!” from everybody that crowded in front of the door. My joyful scream brought the rest of the clan to the door, which turned the vestibule into a festivity site. Gulce and Ekin, almost twins, although from two different families, came out into the vestibule, grinning. I looked at them with fake scorn and murmured “You brats, Umut is coming, too, I know it, he must be on his way here…”
Sure enough, in ten minutes, his taxi was by the apartment building calling us on his forever turned off phone. By that time we were all hanging down from the balcony, anyway... I even expected Baris to show up, after all this "Uhdunno"s of their big conspiracy... But he didn’t, his stuckness in Istanbul was real and that part of the story was true. I will never forget this adorable trick our children played on us.
That is when we discovered there was something called Whatsapp and that was how they had stayed connected and were able to cook up this plan of surprising us all. That night, a Coluk Combalak Whatsapp group was also created with help from Gulce and Ekin. Since then, for the last five years, although, our children are all over the world and I am half way across from the old world, we are connected day in day out like a family, which we are and we will remain...
Some of our village members that attended Zeynep's graduation party, Mary, her husband, and Greg, both Greg's late wife Candace's gifts to me
As my daughter recently said during her medical school graduation party, when some 30 members of our "village" in Iowa City joined us "Each and every one of you gave me something in this journey. Without all the support I received from every one of you, I couldn't have been where I am today." That is what we all were for each other in Izmir between 1987 and 1998 when my daughter and I still lived in Turkey. And I am in bliss to say that we still are across three continents now.
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The first Coluk Combalak reunion at my mother's house Four of our five children at the first reunion of Coluk Combalak in November 2013 (Gulce, Ekin, standing; Umut and my daughter Zeynep sitting)  |
The four mothers of The Coluk Combalak Clan: Saniye, Ekin and Baris' mother, Aysegul, Umut's mother, Resmiye, Zeynep's mother, and Suzan, Gulce the bride-to-become's mother
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