CESME TURKEY 2018 - 5 - KINAGECESI: FESTIVITIES BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY

What a prelude… After the introduction over the previous four entries to this blog, now I may start the story of the wedding! Our dearest Gulce, a 28 year-old beauty, the only child of Suzan and Levent is getting married to Oguz, a lovely young man, head over heels in love with Gulce!

Her father Levent will bring our dear Gulce to the wedding ceremony on the day of the wedding on a board walk on the water

Gulce is the second youngest in the group of 5 children The Coluk Combalak produced. Interestingly, she is the only female grandchild on his father’s side. You can imagine with what love and attention she was raised. She was a relatively small child in her toddler years that made Suzan worry about how tall she would become. Being her pediatrician, I had made a comment that there were relatively short people in Suzan’s family and there might be a genetic determination regarding Gulce’s ultimate height. Boy, was I wrong in that prediction! Gulce now is a 5’7’’ (167 cm) beauty, unusually tall for a Turkish woman…

The wind of Aya Yorgi is blowing away our Gulce's hair and gown alike when she is getting ready for the formal photo-taking 

She studied law, joined a law firm in Istanbul, and within a year, teamed up with some colleagues to start their own law firm as partners. Her apartment in Istanbul for at least the last 5-6 years has become the gathering place for all our kids, as we could see from facebook posts. Ekin coming from London, Zeynep from the US, and Umut from Germany or Austria in the past and now from Mexico, we knew, would find a bed under Gulce’s roof, with unlimited arrival allowed; at any time of the day and night. That you call a family, don’t you? Ekin and Gulce are one year apart in age and they grew up with Aysegul’s care as day care buddies. Thus, it is understandable that their camaraderie would turn into sisterhood. What is most impressive is that although Umut is 4-5 years older than both of them, being the son of the house where Ekin and Gulce came for day care, he became the older brother for both younger girls.

 

Ekin and Gulce with their dear Aunt Aysegul, who took care of them many years

Umut is in fact the same age as my daughter . As a result, they bonded as peers in a different way, although both of them are as strongly bonded with the younger three, espcecially since all of them became fully grown adults, carrying on the banner of our Coluk Combalak culture into the future.  It is so heartwarming to watch them relate to one another in such a relaxed manner. You never know which girl is going to be on Umut’s lap at any given time, or jump over his shoulders to play horseback. Baris is the youngest of the five, but we have plenty of stories about him, too, that will come out in due time.

Gulce visiting Ekin in London in 2013 

The day before the wedding, Levent and Suzan picked me up from my mother’s apartment to go to Cesme. Zeynep and her boyfriend Mike are to join us later in the evening via Ephesus since it is Mike’s first visit to Turkey. My dear brother Mehmet is showing them around as he does with every friend we bring to Turkey from Iowa City. We arrive at the Smart Rooms Luxury motel that Suzan reserved rooms for us for two nights. It is not luxury, but who cares, the Aegean is lying provocatively before my eyes from our 3rd story room. I am disappointed to learn that households of Yildiray-Aysegul and Saniye-Mehmet are not going to be with us the night before the wedding. Oh well, we will catch up the next day.  Levent’s youngest brother Gursel and his wife are with us along with some of Suzan’s friends, who are originally from Cesme. We learn that Gulce, Oguz and perhaps Oguz’s family members are staying at a different hotel in Alacati. Allacati was a lovely fishing village of old. In the last several decades, especially Istanbulite high society made it famous. It is now a gentrified, huge resort town. However, it still carries the unique characteristics of the old and authentic, which makes it very charming.

 

Old House Hotel that has kept all the good and authentic of a truly old Alacati house in the conversion process

 

After settling down, as my friends are having a late lunch, I sneak out and go to the beach. My Aegean, The Water, how I miss its salt, its calm and fervor, its energy, its elegance, its embrace more than anything.

I let myself into the bosom of the Aegean. One stroke, two, three, lost count, heading toward Chios, which is right across where we are. At night, we will be able to see the lights of our neighbor islanders. I swim for about half hour horizontally about a quarter mile from the beach. So meditative...

Chios from the beach at our hotel

When I get out and start walking on the beach, I notice all the debris, pick up one or two, but it is endless, all over the place. The waiters at the bar are helpful, they give me a garbage bag. In another half hour, I pick up a 30 gallon bagful of plastic and metal recyclable material off the beautiful sand. I can now go to my room and take a peaceful shower. I am excited about the evening. We will go to a still authentic Cesme village that is on the water, where summer house owners and the local population are still in balance, supporting one another. The hotel staff helps us rent a van that will accommodate all of us, about a dozen adults. Suzan’s friend Birgul, who is a local has reserved a table for us at a said-to-be beautiful restaurant, Gokkusagi (rainbow) facing the west in Ciftlikkoy (Farm village in English).

Ciftlikkoy (Farm Village) in Cesme where we had our wedding-eve dinner against a beautiful sunset

As soon as we arrive at the restaurant, I am beyond this world; right across the water, fishing boats drawing a beautiful skyline against the Izmir Bay sky turning scarlet then to orange, to pink, to beige, to brown and finally black moment by moment as I stroll on the promenade: Walking meditation couldn’t get better than this. Throughout my meditation, I not only savor the colors, the sounds, and all the beauty around me, but also "pray" for all my loved ones including those at the restaurant, those, who haven't arrived, yet, all members of my Coluk Combalak, my extended family, and chosen family members that are scattered all around the world... May all of us be free of any conflict, any fear, and despair, and infliction. May all of us find love and joy in life and open our hearts with compassion to all that cross our path.

Skyline at Ciftlikkoy when the sun is all gone 

Meze after meze made with organic, local produce of Ciftlikkoy, we devour non-stop along with sips of raki… Was food this good always, or has it reached levels of delicacy I cannot recognize, in the last year? In Turkey raki is the owner of such festive dinner tables. As the saying goes “Raki doesn’t sit in the stomach as it does in the bottle”. You start either singing, or dancing, or both. And that’s what we do… First start singing, then dancing and finally two Roma musicians approach our table and the festivity reaches its peaks.

 

Suzan, the mother of the bride is also enjoying the sunset before the food arrives on wedding-eve

Roma people in Turkey almost exclusively own the "nomad musicians" industry. These musicians, again almost exclusively males roam the areas of towns where restaurants like ours are lined up along a street, waterfront, or any historical neighborhood. They go from table to table, play their music, mostly along with singing, encourage the customers join them with some dancing involved and ask for tips. When they go for their tips, they usually pick one person at the table that seems to be the most well-to-do man in the group with a perceived/assumed thick wallet. In doing so, the musicians usually recite or sing a stanza of a poem or song that encourages the picked out guy take out his wallet and give them a hefty tip! The diners’ job is to delay the tipping as much as they can since the moment the tip is handed out, the music at your table ends instantaneously and the musicians move on to the next table for additional tips. 

Gulce's uncle Gursel, standing with a white jacket ends up paying most of the tip at the end of a music feast from our Roma musicians

Our musicians are very crafty in finding out the thickest wallet: they pick out Gursel, who happens to be the tallest and most sturdy man at the table, who is the CEO of a company. Despite initial protests, being the uncle of the bride, who hasn’t arrived, yet, he submits to all the pressure and our musicians leave very happily, their pockets full… Later on, Zeynep and Mike join us. We will have to wait until after breakfast tomorrow to see Gulce and Oguz. Another round of mezes and other food are ordered for them. Laughter is abound, I almost feel like, I have received all the therapy I need for a year to deal with the budget cuts and all at the hospital in Iowa City. 

 
Looking at the concentration on my face, I must be taking a selfie of myself and Suzan, in Ciftlikkoy

We finally load into the van that brought us here and enjoy the memories of the evening that will be added to the chain of many others, soon… When we are back at our hotel, the breeze from the Aegean is the most loving caress touching my face, arms, and legs. It is past midnight, we’d better go to bed to have energy for tomorrow’s festivities. Tomorrow, Levent’s sister Gunes, brother Ibrahim and his wife and one of his sons, and finally his twin Bulent and his wife will also join us at the hotel to go to Aya Yorgi cove where the wedding will be held. Aya Yorgi is the Turkish/Greek translation for St. George, Having turned its back to the wild Aegean winds, Aya Yorgi has been a place of promise for me to serenity and peace with no fail. I can begin to anticipate the wonderful reunion with it and the memories embedded with that serene body of Water. 

 

Aya Yorgi at sunset right after the wedding ceremony took place, we are now ready to start enjoying the dinner, the music and dance.

 

An unforgettable evening with "dost"s celebrating Gulce's milestone in life: Kinagecesi, although Gulce and Oguz are not with us, we are happy anyway...