I have to start with my family to lay out the roots of The Coluk Combalak. This will connect me as one of the members to Levent, the father of the bride, Gulce, who is getting married in Cesme, Turkey this summer. Levent has also been the pivotal center pole of The Coluk Combalak at least regarding its foundation.
This is my "bigger than life" friend Levent, with whom I have three generations of connection starting with our grandmothers
Ottomans conquered Crete during the Cretan War of 1645-1669. The revolt of 1770 in Sfakia, Cretan Independence uprising of 1821and the subsequent uprisings were harshly suppressed by the invading Ottomans and led to the execution of several bishops, regarded as ringleaders. After Greece achieved its independence in 1830, the Christian Cretans' aim was union with Greece. A contentious series of wars and revolts led to international powers forcing the Ottomans leave the island in 1898. Some muslim Cretans left the island right around that time, some after Crete's union with Greece in 1908, and finally the rest compulsorily exchanged for the Greek Christians of Anatolia under the terms of Lausanne Treaty in 1923. The "Turko"s that were forced to migrate to Turkey were not actually Turks. As three of my grandparents were, they were all Cretan-Greek peasants that came from a lineage that betrayed their countrymen for Ottoman incentives! You see, I can’t say, I am too proud of my ancestors: Scores of Greeks were not only not submitting to Ottomans, but were also fighting against those who had invaded their beloved island and dying for that cause. My ancestors on the other hand were either on the butchering side or joining a small minority of Greek Cretans and betraying their land and their countrymen!
Beautiful Xhania historic town center where my ancestors came from
As a result, the loyalists understandably labeled them "Turko", which was and still is a derogatory term in Greece and Greek. After several generations, all Muslim Greeks came to feel and identify with Turko identity even if they arrived in Turkey speaking not a single word of Turkish at adolescent ages. My father's lineage was called Temesukakis and my mother's lineage, Stelyaris. Temesukaki Mehmet married Resmiye, my paternal grandmother, and Stelyari Mustafa married my maternal grandmother Sakire to produce 5 and 7 children, respectively, two of them being my mother Melek and my father Ibrahim.
My father's oldest aunt Zekiye, sitting in black, her son Mithat and his sister Emine Nevin (in black) and his wife Fatma Suheyla standing: Husnu on his grandmother's lap is over 70 years old in 2018
The collaborating Cretan Greeks, who became Turkos through decades, were in fact financially solid in Crete. They had land, they had agricultural businesses, they had homes. As a result, at the time of population exchange the corresponding government was to provide the immigrants with equivalent resources, land, home, etc. Thus, my maternal grandmother's side had so much land, the farm my grandmother inherited had three creeks running through it. My paternal side also was in good shape. That allowed them to support their neighbors with the extra they had based on their religious beliefs. One such event is when my father's oldest maternal aunt Fazilet and paternal uncle Ahmet sponsored the circumcision celebration of a neighborhood boy.
My father's oldest maternal aunt Fazilet and paternal uncle Ahmet, the sitting elder woman and man in black at the circumcision celebration of a neighborhood boy.
Around the same time another family arrived from Crete, from which a young girl named Melek would grow to become friends with my grandmother Resmiye, after whom I was named, neither one of them knowing that their friendship would lead to an at least four generations of friendships. Both of them had sons, who became friends through their apprenticeship in carpentry. Of these two, Ibrahim would become my father and Muharrem the father of Levent. Serendipitously, Levent and his twin Bulent and I were born in the same year! We never knew Levent would become the pivotal person in the foundation of The Coluk Combalak.
My family with my grandmother Resmiye during the circumcision celebration for my two brothers, when I was 8 (51 years ago) and my mother only 24 (she was engaged at 14, married at 15, had three children before 23)
Our fathers both had carpentry shops in the same area in Izmir, their friendship flourished through their youth. My father married when he was 28 another Melek (translates as Angel in Turkish) and another Cretan-Turkish woman, 13 years his junior. Muharrem married, Pembe (translates as Pink in Turkish), the daughter of a Croatian Muslim immigrant family. Soon, the two women became friends, too, although Aunt Pembe was considerably older than my mother. My earliest memories about this friendship is from Bayrakli, Izmir, the old Greek town at the very bottom of Izmir Bay. By old, I mean old, since Bayrakli was settled for 5000 years, no less. The center of town was adorned by grand but subtle mansions of the old, some up to 200 years old. This is where we would get off the mini-bus that would bring us to Bayrakli from where we lived. Neither family had a car at the time, nor any of the middle class families of the time in Turkey.
Levent's mother and father, the Cretan Muharrem, blond and blue eyed, Croatian Pembe dark complexioned
Muharrem and Pembe with their five kids lived in a two story house at the time surrounded with a beautiful courtyard circled with colorful flower beds and pots with herbs and patio tomato plants among others... Although the outside of the house itself, was not that attractive even to my child eyes, the inside was a heaven. After my grandmother Resmiye's two storied, falling down house, this was the first house on two stories that I had ever been to. Climbing up and down the stairs between the main floor and the second floor being a game in and of itself. They had five kids, two of which were twins, who were my age. All I remember from that household was laughter, story-telling, kindness, and warmth. We kids would play with no boundaries in their courtyard, where I would find absolute freedom. We would also over-hear all kinds of stories about Uncle Muharrem's forgetfulness, lack of geographic direction, all put into benevolent jokes. No wonder, there was so much laughter in that house, no wonder that family left nothing in my heart but all positive implicit memories.
Uncle Muharrem working in the gardens shortly before he died in the spring of 1995
One such unforgettable story about his forgetfulness goes like this, which I probably heard a dozen times during my childhood: Uncle Muharrem visited her fiancée Pembe at her house, where she lived with her family one night before they got married. They had dinner as a family, at the time, they would never permit young engaged people to spend time alone "God forbid" hands might touch one another's! Muharrem had dinner with the family, but when it was time to take leave from them there was a nuisance. It had started raining. His father in-law-to- become insisted him to take the father's umbrella. Muharrem, knowing his forgetfulness, refused.
Uncle Muharrem, his wife Pembe and their oldest four children, one of the blond twins in the front is Levent, Gulce's father
But as the Turkish culture goes, the father in-law won and Muharrem left their house with an umbrella. On the train home, he put his briefcase on the shelf above the seat and the umbrella in between his legs to make sure he wouldn't leave it on the train. We heard throughout our childhood that his hands were on the handle of the umbrella the whole time! When he arrived at his station, he put the umbrella on the seat to pick up his brief case and in that brief moment of no contact with the umbrella he totally forgot about it and walked out the compartment! That was our dearest Uncle Muharrem, and Levent followed suit! We always tease him about what he would have done without Suzan in life...
The last photograph taken of Uncle Muharrem happens to be the one with his five grandchildren, Gulce sitting next to him
They also had one daughter, Gunes (translates into Turkish as Sun), who was also the oldest, but my friendship with her would develop much later when we both became fully grown adults eliminating the importance of the 5-year age difference between us. Uncle Muharrem didn’t know what a very important deterministic influence he would have on my life. Along with my elementary school teacher, he convinced my father to make sure I would sit for the national exam to get into the special college-prep middle-high school in Izmir, one of seven in the country at the time.
Dear Uncle Muharrem on the wall of the house where I have the sweetest memories of my childhood
Both my elementary school teacher and Uncle Muharrem had a son in this high school called Bornova Maarif Koleji (Bornova Education College) at the time, which became Bornova Anadolu Lisesi (Bornova Anatolian High School) in the years that I attended the school. My teacher and Uncle Muharrem knew well what an opportunity this school would be for me, when nobody in my family fully understood it, yet. It was one of seven such schools in the country, where students were both prepared for college life, and for international opportunities. I am grateful that I had such caring people in my life and open-minded parents, who supported and encouraged me to pursue this path, which changed my life altogether.
Pre-selfie photograph of Levet's entire family with kids and all, Gunes, the oldest and the only sister, must be the photographer...
The Kahramanmaras massacre that took place in 1978 to set the stage for martial law in Turkey in preparation for 1980 military coup
Most of my friends had joined or formed groups of students reading and teaching others on what was happening in Turkey at the time. We were gradually coming to understand class-based societal organization and how the government was basically the steering committee for the ruling class, the nook of which was in the hands of the imperial powers of the west through IMF, World Bank and all...
Some of my friends that influenced me in 1976-77 school year 40 years later during a class reunion
This is my "bigger than life" friend Levent, with whom I have three generations of connection starting with our grandmothers
My ancestors were Cretan Muslims, who were
forced to migrate to Turkey on one of the population exchange waves at the turn
of the last century that started before WWI and continued until 1920s. They
were from Xhania on Crete and were settled along the Aegean coast. My maternal
grandmother, who was an infant upon arrival to Turkey, came from Ottoman
lineage, whose father and grandfather were Muslim clerics at the madrasa in
Xhania, most likely sent to Crete to help Cretan peasants convert to Islam in
the process of "senlendirme".
Ottoman "lands" in yellow, Crete in red during the height of Ottoman Empire in 1600s
"Senlendirme" was a term for Islamization of the lands Ottomans conquered and invaded that translates as "happy-making". It never changes how imperialists and anti-democratic rulers tend to use positive or at least neutral terms for torturous acts in hopes to make their ignorant subservient swallow a bitter pill: Remember how water boarding, which is another name for torture, was presented to the American public for a long time. That is what Ottomans were doing as well. This process was certainly not free from massacres:
A massacre in Xhania"Senlendirme" was a term for Islamization of the lands Ottomans conquered and invaded that translates as "happy-making". It never changes how imperialists and anti-democratic rulers tend to use positive or at least neutral terms for torturous acts in hopes to make their ignorant subservient swallow a bitter pill: Remember how water boarding, which is another name for torture, was presented to the American public for a long time. That is what Ottomans were doing as well. This process was certainly not free from massacres:
Ottomans conquered Crete during the Cretan War of 1645-1669. The revolt of 1770 in Sfakia, Cretan Independence uprising of 1821and the subsequent uprisings were harshly suppressed by the invading Ottomans and led to the execution of several bishops, regarded as ringleaders. After Greece achieved its independence in 1830, the Christian Cretans' aim was union with Greece. A contentious series of wars and revolts led to international powers forcing the Ottomans leave the island in 1898. Some muslim Cretans left the island right around that time, some after Crete's union with Greece in 1908, and finally the rest compulsorily exchanged for the Greek Christians of Anatolia under the terms of Lausanne Treaty in 1923. The "Turko"s that were forced to migrate to Turkey were not actually Turks. As three of my grandparents were, they were all Cretan-Greek peasants that came from a lineage that betrayed their countrymen for Ottoman incentives! You see, I can’t say, I am too proud of my ancestors: Scores of Greeks were not only not submitting to Ottomans, but were also fighting against those who had invaded their beloved island and dying for that cause. My ancestors on the other hand were either on the butchering side or joining a small minority of Greek Cretans and betraying their land and their countrymen!
As a result, the loyalists understandably labeled them "Turko", which was and still is a derogatory term in Greece and Greek. After several generations, all Muslim Greeks came to feel and identify with Turko identity even if they arrived in Turkey speaking not a single word of Turkish at adolescent ages. My father's lineage was called Temesukakis and my mother's lineage, Stelyaris. Temesukaki Mehmet married Resmiye, my paternal grandmother, and Stelyari Mustafa married my maternal grandmother Sakire to produce 5 and 7 children, respectively, two of them being my mother Melek and my father Ibrahim.
Around the same time another family arrived from Crete, from which a young girl named Melek would grow to become friends with my grandmother Resmiye, after whom I was named, neither one of them knowing that their friendship would lead to an at least four generations of friendships. Both of them had sons, who became friends through their apprenticeship in carpentry. Of these two, Ibrahim would become my father and Muharrem the father of Levent. Serendipitously, Levent and his twin Bulent and I were born in the same year! We never knew Levent would become the pivotal person in the foundation of The Coluk Combalak.
My family with my grandmother Resmiye during the circumcision celebration for my two brothers, when I was 8 (51 years ago) and my mother only 24 (she was engaged at 14, married at 15, had three children before 23)
Our fathers both had carpentry shops in the same area in Izmir, their friendship flourished through their youth. My father married when he was 28 another Melek (translates as Angel in Turkish) and another Cretan-Turkish woman, 13 years his junior. Muharrem married, Pembe (translates as Pink in Turkish), the daughter of a Croatian Muslim immigrant family. Soon, the two women became friends, too, although Aunt Pembe was considerably older than my mother. My earliest memories about this friendship is from Bayrakli, Izmir, the old Greek town at the very bottom of Izmir Bay. By old, I mean old, since Bayrakli was settled for 5000 years, no less. The center of town was adorned by grand but subtle mansions of the old, some up to 200 years old. This is where we would get off the mini-bus that would bring us to Bayrakli from where we lived. Neither family had a car at the time, nor any of the middle class families of the time in Turkey.
Levent's mother and father, the Cretan Muharrem, blond and blue eyed, Croatian Pembe dark complexioned
Muharrem and Pembe with their five kids lived in a two story house at the time surrounded with a beautiful courtyard circled with colorful flower beds and pots with herbs and patio tomato plants among others... Although the outside of the house itself, was not that attractive even to my child eyes, the inside was a heaven. After my grandmother Resmiye's two storied, falling down house, this was the first house on two stories that I had ever been to. Climbing up and down the stairs between the main floor and the second floor being a game in and of itself. They had five kids, two of which were twins, who were my age. All I remember from that household was laughter, story-telling, kindness, and warmth. We kids would play with no boundaries in their courtyard, where I would find absolute freedom. We would also over-hear all kinds of stories about Uncle Muharrem's forgetfulness, lack of geographic direction, all put into benevolent jokes. No wonder, there was so much laughter in that house, no wonder that family left nothing in my heart but all positive implicit memories.
One such unforgettable story about his forgetfulness goes like this, which I probably heard a dozen times during my childhood: Uncle Muharrem visited her fiancée Pembe at her house, where she lived with her family one night before they got married. They had dinner as a family, at the time, they would never permit young engaged people to spend time alone "God forbid" hands might touch one another's! Muharrem had dinner with the family, but when it was time to take leave from them there was a nuisance. It had started raining. His father in-law-to- become insisted him to take the father's umbrella. Muharrem, knowing his forgetfulness, refused.
Uncle Muharrem, his wife Pembe and their oldest four children, one of the blond twins in the front is Levent, Gulce's father
But as the Turkish culture goes, the father in-law won and Muharrem left their house with an umbrella. On the train home, he put his briefcase on the shelf above the seat and the umbrella in between his legs to make sure he wouldn't leave it on the train. We heard throughout our childhood that his hands were on the handle of the umbrella the whole time! When he arrived at his station, he put the umbrella on the seat to pick up his brief case and in that brief moment of no contact with the umbrella he totally forgot about it and walked out the compartment! That was our dearest Uncle Muharrem, and Levent followed suit! We always tease him about what he would have done without Suzan in life...
They also had one daughter, Gunes (translates into Turkish as Sun), who was also the oldest, but my friendship with her would develop much later when we both became fully grown adults eliminating the importance of the 5-year age difference between us. Uncle Muharrem didn’t know what a very important deterministic influence he would have on my life. Along with my elementary school teacher, he convinced my father to make sure I would sit for the national exam to get into the special college-prep middle-high school in Izmir, one of seven in the country at the time.
Both my elementary school teacher and Uncle Muharrem had a son in this high school called Bornova Maarif Koleji (Bornova Education College) at the time, which became Bornova Anadolu Lisesi (Bornova Anatolian High School) in the years that I attended the school. My teacher and Uncle Muharrem knew well what an opportunity this school would be for me, when nobody in my family fully understood it, yet. It was one of seven such schools in the country, where students were both prepared for college life, and for international opportunities. I am grateful that I had such caring people in my life and open-minded parents, who supported and encouraged me to pursue this path, which changed my life altogether.
And my dear father did encourage me to study, that was what he
did best since he had lost the opportunity to finish his education due to some convoluted systems issues in the education system of his time. He brought two test taking books home one day, who knows where he obtained the information on what books to buy... Each about hundred pages with some 20 tests in each for me to get ready for the two exams to try out for acceptance to this life
changing campus. I took and retook these practice tests over and over again
during a two-month period. Test taking almost became my daily game and it helped!
My dearest friend Greg and I in front of my high school when we visited "my places" in Turkey together in 2013
We learned in June of 1970 that I was to go to their admission office to enroll! Thus, Uncle Muharrem’s oldest son, Ibrahim and I became school mates. Of course by the time I joined the Bornova Anadolu Lisesi (BAL in short) as a little girl, he was already an adolescent, who would have nothing to do with me! But it was still lovely to know that I had an "agabey", older brother in school, who might protect me in case I needed it. This school led me to the opportunity of becoming an academic at a fine university in the midwest, just because of the friendship between two adolescent Cretan youth that had just arrived from Crete to a foreign land, whose offspring would learn to call their motherland, soon. Thank you Aunt Melek, thank you grandma Resmiye...
My host family in Waterford, Wisconsin in 1975-1976: The Mealys
The very first unique experience my high school education gave me was to become an exchange student to Wisconsin, which allowed me to dare immigrating to the US decades later. When I returned from my exchange year in 1976, my friends and school had been transformed into something I had quite a bit of difficulty to adjust to. It was 1976-1977 school year. After the elections of 1974 following the military coup of 1970, several years of democracy had allowed one more time for workers to re-organize under unions, university students under student associations, public under local cultural centers. With what little freedom of expression the civil governments allowed, people were in city squares, marching and demonstrating about sky-rocketing prices and unbelievable inflation, diminishing wages, limited freedom of expression on university campuses, and police brutality against demonstrators all over the country.
May 1st Workers' Day Celebrations in Istanbul in 1977
In 1978, 111 people were killed in Kahraman Maras by a collaboration between police, military, and ultra-nationalist camp in Turkey. What followed this massacre was military rule established in Southeastern Turkey, which was for what the ultranationalist and Islamists longed for a long time. All this injustice and strategic plan to eliminate democracy, freedom of expression, and progressive rhetoric to take Turkey back to medieval times to re-establish the Turko-Islamist order made it very easy for me to choose a path for myself.
We learned in June of 1970 that I was to go to their admission office to enroll! Thus, Uncle Muharrem’s oldest son, Ibrahim and I became school mates. Of course by the time I joined the Bornova Anadolu Lisesi (BAL in short) as a little girl, he was already an adolescent, who would have nothing to do with me! But it was still lovely to know that I had an "agabey", older brother in school, who might protect me in case I needed it. This school led me to the opportunity of becoming an academic at a fine university in the midwest, just because of the friendship between two adolescent Cretan youth that had just arrived from Crete to a foreign land, whose offspring would learn to call their motherland, soon. Thank you Aunt Melek, thank you grandma Resmiye...
My host family in Waterford, Wisconsin in 1975-1976: The Mealys
The very first unique experience my high school education gave me was to become an exchange student to Wisconsin, which allowed me to dare immigrating to the US decades later. When I returned from my exchange year in 1976, my friends and school had been transformed into something I had quite a bit of difficulty to adjust to. It was 1976-1977 school year. After the elections of 1974 following the military coup of 1970, several years of democracy had allowed one more time for workers to re-organize under unions, university students under student associations, public under local cultural centers. With what little freedom of expression the civil governments allowed, people were in city squares, marching and demonstrating about sky-rocketing prices and unbelievable inflation, diminishing wages, limited freedom of expression on university campuses, and police brutality against demonstrators all over the country.
In 1978, 111 people were killed in Kahraman Maras by a collaboration between police, military, and ultra-nationalist camp in Turkey. What followed this massacre was military rule established in Southeastern Turkey, which was for what the ultranationalist and Islamists longed for a long time. All this injustice and strategic plan to eliminate democracy, freedom of expression, and progressive rhetoric to take Turkey back to medieval times to re-establish the Turko-Islamist order made it very easy for me to choose a path for myself.
Most of my friends had joined or formed groups of students reading and teaching others on what was happening in Turkey at the time. We were gradually coming to understand class-based societal organization and how the government was basically the steering committee for the ruling class, the nook of which was in the hands of the imperial powers of the west through IMF, World Bank and all...
That is when I came across the twins one more time. We found each
other in the same activist group organizing communities specifically in the
ghettos and university students to raise class consciousness. It was as simple
as that. We were simply using our first amendment right, freedom of expression,
the only arms we used being our words. No violence, no arms. But in oppressive societies, words are considered more dangerous than anything, the flow of which must be stopped at any cost. That is where Turkey was in the late 70s.
My daughter with her father when she was 3 years of age or so
I met my husband-to-become in this activist group. As young adults, the twins, Levent and Bulent and I became closer friends. My friendship with Levent went much further when my then-husband and Levent started working for the same pharmaceutical company, to which my husband was hired with Levent’s help. That brought us even closer, which was crowned by his girlfriend Suzan turning out to be a warm, loving, caring brilliant woman, who would soon become his wife. Levent and Suzan were visiting us in our house in Bornova in late 80s, when Levent, at our kitchen table turned to me and said "Is there an apartment for us in this building to rent?"
Two of my dearest combalaks Levent and Suzan, he most likely did the same when he subtly proposed to her in our kitchen close to 30 years ago
Because, at the time living together without getting married was almost unthinkable, this was a proposal to Suzan, right there! I looked at Suzan, she was as perplexed as I was. We must have all exploded in laughter and applause. That was close to 30 years ago. He must have embraced her the way he always has been since then... They are two beautiful souls, who have always been each other's best friend, have managed to weave their love for one another into love for their precious daughter Gulce, for their close family members, for their friends, who have almost become their family just as they became my family. Love you Suzi'm, love you Levo'm, and that is forever.
My daughter with her father when she was 3 years of age or so
I met my husband-to-become in this activist group. As young adults, the twins, Levent and Bulent and I became closer friends. My friendship with Levent went much further when my then-husband and Levent started working for the same pharmaceutical company, to which my husband was hired with Levent’s help. That brought us even closer, which was crowned by his girlfriend Suzan turning out to be a warm, loving, caring brilliant woman, who would soon become his wife. Levent and Suzan were visiting us in our house in Bornova in late 80s, when Levent, at our kitchen table turned to me and said "Is there an apartment for us in this building to rent?"
Two of my dearest combalaks Levent and Suzan, he most likely did the same when he subtly proposed to her in our kitchen close to 30 years ago
Because, at the time living together without getting married was almost unthinkable, this was a proposal to Suzan, right there! I looked at Suzan, she was as perplexed as I was. We must have all exploded in laughter and applause. That was close to 30 years ago. He must have embraced her the way he always has been since then... They are two beautiful souls, who have always been each other's best friend, have managed to weave their love for one another into love for their precious daughter Gulce, for their close family members, for their friends, who have almost become their family just as they became my family. Love you Suzi'm, love you Levo'm, and that is forever.
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Every living soul's need on earth, I hope all those that need it find it just like all my Combalaks have... May our children also find love and joy in life...   |
2 comments:
Resmom I love you so much and I am very lucky that I have your friendship. You are my sister forever. Love Suzan
we are in this together sis!!!
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