PARIS MAY 2014 -1- FIRST TIME INDULGENCE IN PARIS

5.3.2014 

First time indulgence in Paris!



Several months of excitement about a first time visit to Paris... Finally I am there, I have arrived... For the last three months, I have been watching movies based on revolutionary era French literary work, reading books produced during or a bit before or after the same era, reading about the literary folks of the last several centuries from France and the USA, who called Paris home for at least some period of time, listening to Pimsler's French audiobooks to learn just a bit of the language, and finally reading a bit of travel books as well. Although, upon my arrival on the Ile de Cite/Island of the City, where Paris was originally established as a small village I felt as if I had known this city for a long time with all the reading that I did, seeing, feeling, touching, and beginning to absorb the very things I had learned about is a totally different experience. Without coming to face to face with all that the history rewarded Paris with, or perhaps rather she deserved through hard work of history-making, it is impossible to say "I know this city".



Paris from sacre cour in Monmatre

With the first day's experience in this city, I feel as if I have started taking tiny baby steps toward hopefully being able to say "I have learned a little bit about Paris..." However, I will soon discover that the more I learn about her in the next week, the more I will understand there is so much more to be learned. What I will learn will only tell me how much more there is that I don't know, perhaps that will be the reason at the end of the week I will leave this city of legend with ambivalent feelings of much closeness as well as a bit of apprehensive distance, feelings of much amazement as well as slight indifference, feelings of identification as well as a little alienation, on and on and on. Who knows perhaps what Paris will come to mean for me will be an ongoing process to unfold over time with assessing what it will give to me in the next 7 days over the next months and years perhaps with recurrent visits. Who knows...  

Eiffel tower, to me, an overrated tourist destination

Paris airport turns out to be an easy and friendly place lacking the commercial arrogance of some other metropolis airports like London, New York City, Berlin, even Istanbul. Staff is extremely friendly, thanks to my "Par le vouz Englais?", we switch to English very quickly and I obtain answers to all my initial questions without wasting staff's precious time. Hence, in 15 minutes I am on RER B train on my way to the heart of the city.  When I surface from the underground world within 35 minutes into what I think would be the vicinity of Notre Dame, not being fully oriented yet, I take the wrong turn and find myself on the Ile de Cite facing Notre Dame with all her grandeur!

Notre dame at sunrise

I am almost frozen in time and space with amazement. I expected it to be huge of course, but nothing of this nature. Its towers are rising to the sky almost endlessly. My social conscience automatically throws at me a question "I wonder how many poor Parisians died in building this wonder." I will discover soon that indeed thousands and thousands of them did. Part of me wants to stay there and just stare at Notre Dame to take in every single detail on her facade, on her towers, over her doorways... But part of me tells me, if I drop off my luggage at my hotel, which should be very nearby, I can do it much more easily. I listen to the practical half of my brain and consult my "go maps" app, which my dear friend Greg uploaded on my phone just before leaving home in Iowa City, and it works!! I can even see my location on the map, and voila... I am at my hotel in no time, Hotel Esmeralda, built in 1600s, will be my home in the heart of Paris for 8 nights.

Medieval building at latin quarter right around our hotel

Francisco is at the desk, the gentleman I communicated with for the last several months. He is a soft spoken, medium sized, spectacled, dark skinned gentleman, who happens to be from Peru originally, first generation immigrant, just like I; he from the new world to the old, I from the old world to the new. Greg later on will learn that he immigrated in 1978 and a friend of his engaged him in this hotel business. He and Greg especially will hold some interesting, intellectual conversations. He carries my luggage all the way up to the third floor while puts me on duty to be the receptionist for a while, how sweet. My room is small, but manageable, clean, well aerated, and warm when I need it be. Once I dump all my weight in the room and arrange what minimal I need to take with me, I find myself out in open air "en plein air" as French impressionists would say.

Artist in painting Eiffel Tower en plein air                                                

I am surprised to see that the lines for entrance to special sightseeing places my travel book mention are indeed prohibitive!!! From the crowd in front of Notre Dame, I can tell I will easily have to wait for two hours if I want to climb up the towers this afternoon. I decide not to lose those special hours: I tour all around Notre Dame in half an hour and adore its size, external details, beautiful facade and gates and gardens as a starter. I want to get a sense of the place to start with and I know that is possible only by walking a city. I am now heading toward the right bank. In order to do that, I have to cross the bridge from Latin Quarter onto the city island (Ile de cite).

  

Saint Chapel Cathedral on Ile de Cite

Saint Chapelle alongside the Justice Palace is another extraordinary historical monument for Parisians. However the lines again are prohibitive. I walk along the upper shore of the island until I reach its westernmost tip. Seine through Paris is slightly reminiscent of Amsterdam and her canals. Eventually, seeing that there are many tour boats where I am right now, I decide to take a river tour to see from afar what I will see closer-up in the next 6-7 days. It turns out to be a very good idea. My desire to visit The Louvre and Muse D'Orsay grows more intense. I will definitely visit Notre Dame's inside and her tower and would like to take leisurely walks along the right and left banks to the east of my hotel.  I will try to visit Eiffel, too, however, if I can't squeeze it in, I won't worry much. This decision becomes more concrete once I spend much more time around Eiffel during the next four days of my conference. The most exhausting looking crowds are around Eiffel, which will definitely deter me from even trying to climb up the tower.

Seine River cuts through Paris along left and right banks

Once the tour is over, I start looking for a place to eat some of the exceptional French food, which I need to find out for myself since French dishes I have had in the USA haven't necessarily impressed me that much other than their butter load and creamy flavors. I start walking toward Sorbonne having reviewed that some of the most well known cafes of Paris are in that direction. First I walk into Le Cafe de Flore; too crowded, service poor, after 20 minutes of  nobody asking me even whether I want any water or not, I decide to leave. Cafe Les Deux Magots, right around the corner is better. It is not as cramped, not as crowded, and service is much better. Since I won't be able to eat both a main dish and a dessert, I choose my chance for dessert along with mint tea with lemon. Tea arrives right away followed in a bit with an enthusiastic female waitress bringing me a tray of a dozen kind of desserts just like they would bring meze platters in Turkey. I am pleasantly surprised, I choose a milles feuille dessert, which turns out to be very fresh, clearly made from scratch and delicious, but soon the cream in it, makes my stomach turn a bit. I should have known better. Luckily, mint tea counterbalances the cream and soon I feel fine. By the way, tea is more expensive than wine in Paris!

 

The two magots of cafe de deux magots

A couple sitting next to me seems interesting. They both seem to be close to retirement age. An interesting conversation goes on between the couple and the waiter. The couple is speaking a language that sounds like Slavic. The waiter addresses the woman in that language. She responds to the waiter in French. The husband makes a comment in English. I smile to myself thinking globalization has some very positive side effects that the "globalizers" didn't plan at all. The man's English is so clear, I ask them whether they are from the USA or not. I am so pleasantly surprised one more time that they are from Portugal and out of all places live in O Porto, my favorite Portugese city. We start chatting. I learn that he was a chemical engineer, which took him to England when he was younger. His wife was born in Portugal and her family moved her to Brazil, from where she returned to her home country at 18 years of age. They have children from previous relationships but not together. We discuss politics a bit, too. It looks like we definitely could become friends. we both wish each other "bon vacciones". 

 

My friends from Portugal accompanying me to monmartre

I start walking toward Sorbonne. Now that I am this close, I probably should see it. I hit a majestic building, considering it must be Sorbonne. However at the end of the block it turns out that actually I had brought myself to Jardin du Luxembourg. As a result, due to getting lost one more time, I get to see how this place is one of the Central Parks of Paris. As I exit it on the east side, I see very large size and beautiful photographs of landscape anywhere from sunsets, sunrises to stark deserts, some depicting simply the beauty of our nature, but some showing how harmful war remnants can be on our environment. I can't help thinking "You can't plan too much in Paris: You never know how she will surprise you with her convoluted streets or what kinds of art and beauty she will throw on your path that will hold you back from doing what you had planed.

 

Jardin de Luxemborg

I am so glad, I did allow Paris surprise me and I am glad to have followed her leads. I am back to my hotel room with an unbearable jet lag but with a very sweet welcoming taste in my entire existence from finally having come to you and facing you Paris. I have a feeling I will like you.

 



TURKEY NOVEMBER 2013 -8- EXPLORING ANTALYA IN AND OUT

11.16.2013

After a pleasant drive, we arrive at Termessos, a Pisidian city built at an altitude of 1,665 meters at the south-west side of the mountain Solymos (modern-day Güllük Dağı) in the Taurus Mountains, against which Antalya province is nestled. Termessos is 30 kilometres to the north-west of Antalya. It is so well fortified and protected that even Alexander the Great, who frequented these parts quite a bit and conquered most of the land, didn't bother attempting to conquer this city and left its people be. What a civilization all the way on top of the mountains with its agora, amphitheater, burial sites, king tombs among other things... We spent several hours hiking the site, we are finally ready to go down to the city to have lunch, both starving after this exercise-rich morning. We head toward Kemer.

Termessos amphitheater

The drive to Kemer is a very pleasant one. It is one of the resort towns, easily accessible to those visiting Antalya, about 40 kms west of town. The road meanders up and down the low hills reaching out from the Taurus mountains toward the Mediterranean. Along the way, there are multiple sandy beaches, many open to public. But what is most extraordinary is the grandeur of the front line peaks of the young Taurus Mountains almost rising off the meadows right behind the beaches to the sky. One of those peaks at Tahtali is accessible via an electric lift, which has a restaurant on top. Locals will tell us, on a clear day, you can see as far to the west as Kas, 4-hour drive from Antalya, and as far to the east as Mersin, another 4-hour drive. We will keep that in mind for our second visit.

Sunset at Kemer

The peak season in these parts is from the beginning of May through September, thus, in mid-November, most touristic activity has died down. All the better, as much as I dislike coming to these coastal towns during the high season, I love them all late in the fall or very early in the spring, when the consumerist tourists are all gone and only those who know how to savor these gems of towns remain, residents either natives or naturalized or visitors of a different taste. We find exactly what I was hoping for: Downtown Kemer would be almost unrecognizable to one visiting it only in the middle of the summer; none of such crowds spilling onto the streets. We find our way to the harbor and choose a restaurant, Navigator, right by the water, where only another table is occupied, clearly by locals. As we order our food and start savoring the blue all around us, only a few groups of a few people pass by enjoying the waterfront on their leisurely stroll just like us.

Kemer harbor

We have the best seafood soup at Navigator. With my cooking experience my assumption is that they cooked some flour in olive oil adding water slowly until it reached the desired consistency, then added the fish-octopus-shrimp pieces, finally dressed it with chopped, mint and dill. I squeeze in a quarter of a lemon's juice into my bowl smiling to the saying in Turkish: The fish does not die without lemon juice… It is exceptional! We also have their grilled eggplant dish treated with garlic, olive oil, and lemon juice. By the time, we are done, not only the sunset is gorgeous, but we also notice a beautiful moon simultaneously rising through the sail posts of a sailboat, which makes our afternoon unforgettable.

Simultaneous sunset and moonrise

We head toward Antalya since we will meet with two of my high school friends, who live in Antalya and their wives. I am looking forward to this since I haven't seen Ali perhaps for ten years and Sedat since graduation some 35 years ago. It turns out to be a very lovely evening. The three of us catch up in just 15 minutes and start our lovely dance between today and 35 years ago when we were all in middle/high school. My new friend is welcomed and embraced like an old friend with lots of jokes and hospitality. We leave with very sweet memories of good food, good conversation, renewed/established friendship with my friends and their wives alike.

Meeting with my high school friends

Having friends from 40 plus years ago is such a unique experience... At this age, I know the men across from me are also 54, having experienced quite a bit as reflected in the wrinkles on their faces or slight slouching they have developed or in the gray of their hair just like mine. However, I can also see the Ali of age 11-12, when I had met him through his innocence (still), his spontaneity, the no-reservation style, sometimes loud but all natural laughter. With each of these reminders, I feel like two faces move in and out of one face throughout the night before my eyes: The faces of Ali at age 54 and age 11-18 (when we were together in school). This wonderful experience can only belong to old, very old friendships with unique dedication: the moment we meet, it takes 15-20 minutes to fill in the gaps and continue from where we had left off: Once, I discover, in two days, Nermin will refuse to charge us for our two-night stay at Hotel Tuvana, I will be most overwhelmed with Ali's dedication to our friendship. We certainly will pay at least a portion of it despite Nermin's resistance, but her gesture, clearly the result of how Ali has portrayed me to her will put me at the brink of tears.

Turkish mezes

The next day, we head toward Perge, Aspendos, Side direction, all three important trade centers in the Lycian culture of some 2-3000 years ago. Our first stop after a side trip to Kursunlu Waterfall over Koprulu River, is Perge. Emperor Hadrian had reached all the way to Antalya, and gates in his name are all over the place, at Perge, in Antalya, in Side. The two towers are being renovated adjacent to the agora. Both Perge and Aspendos will amaze us with their huge stadium.

Kursunlu waterfall a favorite picnic site for locals

On the way to Aspendos, we stop at an authentic Karadeniz Pide place, where we order a variety of pides: Pide may be thought of as Turkish Pizza with thin, crisp elongated oval-shaped crust, the toppings of which may vary anywhere from kasseri cheese, to ground beef, pre-stir-fried meat cubes, or any combination of these. We try it all, they are all delicious. At the entrance of the business section of Serik, this is an unexpected feast. The rule never fails: Eat where the locals eat, I am glad we followed the recommendation of a local we asked in town.

Perge stadium

Aspendos, of course is a monumental place. Nothing is better preserved/excavated than Aspendos theater, which can seat 15,000 people, even today. After completing our tour in Aspendos, we climb up on the hill that is right behind the theater and get from-up-above glimpse of the theater, which makes it even more impressive. What is even more impressive is that, a woman all the way down below is singing an aria, perhaps even from the backstage from behind the columns. On top of this hill, we are stunned with the beauty of her voice and how the acoustics of the theater allows us to enjoy this tune as if we were down below in the theater. No wonder, these amphitheaters dotting the entire coastal line of Turkey are used for multiple music festivals in Turkey with the use of no microphone. I have experienced that first hand at Ephesus amphitheater, where even a whisper on stage could be decoded from the top row of the theater; but never at Aspendos before.

Aspendos Theater from up above

Finally, as the light of the day is gradually fading away, our goal is to get to the Side beaches and witness the sunset. My friend is the brave one of us two, and is driving us to Side. I can see he is rushing to make sure we get there before sunset. And we do make it in one piece thanks to his effort. We find a small park, open to public by the shore, a breakthrough in the line of kilometers of hotels on the coast. I am determined to try the water.  We change into our swimming suits, after saluting the sun to below the horizon, i gradually let myself into the water, which, to my surprise is not cold at all, it is slightly crisp, but totally enjoyable. I swim toward the horizon for a while, it’s been such a long time since I have done this in Antalya... Even when I come out, I don't feel chilly. This is the beauty of Antalya, if one is really in love with the salt water, it is conceivable to swim in the Mediterranean every single day of the year...

An unforgettable sunset in November in Side

TURKEY NOVEMBER 2013 -7- OUR ANTALYA EXPEDITION ALONG THE MEDITERRANEAN COAST

ANTALYA EXPEDITION

11.15.2013

The week went by very quickly. After a day in Foca and another in Kusadasi where our family summer houses are, I head to Antalya, the tourism capital of the country. I like going to Antalya to visit its smaller towns like Kemer, Side during the low season. Even these small towns turn into commercial, tremendously crowded places in the high season that leaves no room for breathing to one like me, who enjoys spending time with locals, chatting with them to learn their life stories, and truly learning a place. These people, who are too busy to make the most off of tourists, become more mellow, more friendly and open to outsiders to really connect with them late in the fall and winter.

 

Fisherman displaying his fish along the promenada in Foca (Phokai)

In the summer, on the other hand, the 5-star hotels and holiday villages that form an ugly wall (to me) between the city and the sea employ all the locals either as owners or paid-hands, who are all too busy with chores, groups of visitors in a fully commercial world. Then, it is impossible to connect with anybody, it is not possible to see the hospitable face of Turkish people.  To tell you the truth, if I end up going to Antalya in the summer, I feel like a chicken, with every store, hotel, enterprise waiting to pluck my feathers one by one.

Each small hotel in Foca has as small a "pier" allowing access to the beautiful Aegean

Every time I happen to be in one of the hotels lining the entire Antalya downtown coastal line, I crave to be back on the Aegean, where these hotels are a rarity (still ugly, perhaps uglier than in Antalya), moderated by many many small boutique hotels and guest houses, that are much more personable, no doubt. And part of this perception is related to who visits these 5-star monstrosities in Antalya versus the numerous small villages along the Aegean coasts. These hotels offer three meals and a variety of entertainment packages and try to lock you in as if you are on a cruise ship (another thing, I highly doubt I would ever consider). I like colorful people full of curiosity, intellect, sense of adventure, who are able to think out of the box. I must say most of the people I bump into at these hotels when I am assigned, occasionally, when I have to lecture at a conference, are very very pale in color....

 

On the city boat to Karsiyaka in Izmir

That is why, I probably will never get on a cruise ship, a tour to visit India, stay at a 5-star hotel on my own accord, but will plan my own travel in a way to reach out to locals as much as possible, will stay in places close to the real people, eat at places where locals frequent, make my own plans on what to see, what to experience, what to buy what to take back with me (and most will be memories and friendships) and what not from the lands I visit. That is why you will come across me along the Aegean much more frequently than around Antalya.

Kusadasi against Greek island Samos

However, I have a dear friend from Iowa City visiting Antalya during a conference he has to attend. Although, I am not a native of Antalya, either, and Antalya has clearly changed tremendously since the last time I have been here some 10 years ago with its sprawling legs and arms in all directions, I still am a bit more knowledgeable about what has been unique in this city at least historically. I am looking forward to exploring the city with him to discover what has changed and what has continued anchoring this some 3000 plus year old city. We were scheduled to rent a car at the airport and drive ourselves to our hotel since we arranged to arrive in Antalya pretty much around the same time. I have printed out all the details of the route since our hotel is in the old town, Kaleici (meaning inside the fortress), which consists of a maze of very narrow alley-like cobble stoned streets (the latter we will discover once we get there). Alas, my flight is 3 hours delayed and he decides to take a taxi cab to the hotel and I will follow him the same way when I get to the airport. When, I get to the hotel I will take a deep breath that we didn't have to drive into this maze the very first night, it would have been close to impossible to find the place, really.

 

Hotel Tuvana is just behind the fortress walls

As I walk through our hotel, Tuvana, I am amazed, just as I will find out my friend to be in a little bit. It sprawls into a full block in this lovely, well-cared for maze. It consists of several small buildings some 300 years old built during the Ottoman Empire that were used as the mansions of the elite. They are irregularly situated around a courtyard, which is used as the open-air restaurant adjacent to the very elegant restaurant "Serazer", one of the best restaurants in town, we will learn later specializing in French cuisine (not my thing in Turkey, really!). My dear friend Ali from high school arranged this hotel for us. Its charming manager Nermin, who is a family friend of Ali has not left knowing that my flight was delayed (how sweet). As my luggage is being wheeled through the courtyard into the building where our room will be, Nermin appears with a very personable and warm smile and gives me a hug as if I am her friend also: That’s how things go in Turkey; if one of your friend tells you their friend needs help, their friend becomes your friend instantaneously and, you are expected to take care of them as if this stranger has been your friend all along! When it is your turn needing help, you get the same treatment of course. Along these lines, Nermin and I will become friends over the next few days of our stay at Tuvana. Right behind Nermin, towers my friend and surely, he is well taken care of by Nermin, who also personally met him a while ago. I join him to share his salad along with a glass of wonderful Turkish wine around an outdoors fireplace.

 

Part of the maze in Kaleici leading to Hotel Tuvana

Nowadays Turkish wine producers are producing very good quality wine, some of which are Okuzgozu, Karecik karasi, etc. My friend makes arrangements so that the rental car is brought to our hotel the next day, rather than taking a taxi back to the airport to pick up our car. It turns out to be a very good plan, I would have never thought of, his extensive travel experience turns out to be quite a problem solver for both of us. The next morning, we have a leisurely breakfast in a different outdoors setting beneath the courtyard furnished in Ottoman style. We are now ready to begin our expedition. Before we head toward Termessos, dear Nermin prepares a map of directions for us with her own hand, color-coded, one way roads, overpasses and underpasses all marked, clearly a fool-proof guide. How sweet, I think, one more time. You can never get this at a 5-star hotel despite all the civility and politeness. This warmth and care can never be replaced with any commercial caretaking. That is why, I prefer staying at places like Tuvana, rather than a 5-star hotel, wherever I go and I think it will stay that way for quite some time if not forever.

Street boy selling gevrek (Turkish bagel with sesame seeds) off of a wooden tray

TURKEY NOVEMBER 2013 -6- FIRST TRADITIONAL KIDS AND ALL GET TOGETHER (1.GELENEKSEL COLUK COMBALAK TOPLASMASI)

11.11.2013

Unfortunately, some of my dear friends still smoke. After many emotional moments, it is time for a smoke breakL In the mean time, we are still questioning whether Umut is coming or not. Zeynep's lips are still sealed, although from her avoidant looks, I suspect he might be on his way. However, nobody else seems to know anything about it, either. Gulce finally starts calling Umut on his cell phone. Cell phone is turned off. That is impossible for a businessman: Of course I wonder whether he is on a plane or not. To my surprise, he finally picks up the phone! We learn that he is in Istanbul... I cannot believe it! The Umut that I met a few weeks back in Iowa, certainly would be and must have been in Izmir now not in Istanbul. I feel betrayed... I pick up the phone, he abashedly tells me he is heading to his girlfriend's house and apologizes that he won’t be able to join us this weekend. I can kill this girlfriend of his now!!! (not reallyJ) What can we do? Of course a 28 year-old young man can be expected to choose his girlfriend, whom he gets to see occasionally (one lives in Istanbul, the other in Vienna) over his parents’ old friends…. In my heart I forgive him, although I know this evening is not going to be the same as it would have been if he had surprised us just like Zeynep did. I was wrong, he is not coming.

Kids and I

The group has scattered a bit now. Suzan and Aysegul, who went for a smoke are still missing. Seeing that it takes a long time for them to come back, I go to the kitchen to see what is happening. Suzan and Aysegul are almost glued to the window looking at something intently. All of a sudden, one screams silently almost whisperingly, "Yes, it is him, he just got out of the taxi!" I know, who they are talking about.... My dear Umut held onto his attempt to surprise us all till the last minute. I know what will follow now: surely the doorbell rings, the outside door is unlocked via intercom, the doorbell rings one more time, this time the entire crew is in the vestibule. Now we know, Yildiray and Zeynep knew all along. Everybody meets him with hugs and kisses and tiny screams of joy. Umut is surprised big time: He didn't know Zeynep was coming! He is lovingly upset with her, I am even more upset with Zeynep for not sharing her surprise with him! it takes a while for zeynep to convince us how she wanted to surprise Umut as well... We are now one big family with only one missing item, Baris, he will find his way toward this circle of love sooner or later...

 

Happy mother Aysegul with Umut, her son

Yildiray now can have his main dish "I was waiting for my son to arrive", reasonable explanation now... Lots of photos are taken, which will be published on Facebook or dropbox with the title of "the first traditional get together of kids and all" we will make this a traditional get together, hopefully on a yearly basis. next, we will meet at Saniye and Mehmet's, in Guzelbahce, a coastal suburb of Izmir, next at Yildiray and Aysegul's in Karaburun, where they have a lovely authentic summer house in an authentic village, finally in Suzan and Levent's in Foca, at their summer house, an hour north of Izmir. All of these get togethers will be overnight. We will bring our sleeping bags and get lined up "like sardines" wherever we can. Perhaps, next get together that I will do, I will hold in Kusadasi at my summer house. Just like in the old days. It is such a wonderful treasure to have friends, with whom one can go back to college years. And having experienced all of this together with such a group is yet another level of treasure. I find myself so very lucky that I have had them in my life and will forever, hopefully, from this point on only to get closer. 

And a proud father Yildiray with son Umut 

When the night is over, it is nearly midnight. Everybody has half an hour to get to their homes and several of them have a 6 am flight to catch. I know, the 6 hours we spent together will be another precious item in the set of special moments in our history, prone to many more special moments like these in the years to come. All of us will be looking forward to replicating these moments.... I love you all my dear friends, brothers, sisters, and kiddos.

Levent scared of what he is learning from Ekin about the financial world's ins and outs...

TURKEY NOVEMBER 2013 -5- FIRST TRADITIONAL KIDS AND ALL GET TOGETHER (1. GELENEKSEL COLUK COMBALAK TOPLASMASI)

11.11.2013

I go back to the end of 1980s even in the deafening chatter of my lovely crowd at my mother’s house. In mid-80s, my husband Zeki had already introduced me to his friend Mehmet and his wife Saniye, who had just had a baby then, our dear Ekin. We had recently moved to Izmir from Burhaniye, a resort town along northern Aegean, where I had worked for two years as a brand new Ministry of Health family doctor at a mother and child health care center. Saniye and Mehmet made me feel like I had known them all my life, I still vividly recall the weekend we spent together at their house. How could I have known then that they would have become two of my closest friends throughout my life? They did become indeed, which continued when they moved to Izmir in the end, and nowhere but to our neighborhood...

Mehmet and Saniye

When we moved to Izmir, my husband was hired by a company where one of my childhood friends Levent worked at. My history with Levent went all the way to our toddlerhood... In fact, his paternal grandmother and mine were neighborhood friends from Crete, where my entire family emigrated to Turkey from. I remembered how our grandparents chattered in Cretan like machine guns (so it felt to me when i was barely in elementary school) when we were kids. His father and mine had grown up together and both had become carpenters, whose wives (our mothers) also had become friends. I recall, our visits to their home in Bayrakli, one of the old town sections of Izmir at the very end of the bay. They lived in a two-story typical old Turkish house, which I admired. How could I have known we would also move into an even older, stone Greek house one summer, only to move into another one in a month due to the enormous size of the former and my poor 21-22 year-old mother being too scared to live in that huge house.

 

Levent and Suzan

Levent during our meeting tonight will bring up the second house of that summer we lived in. It was adjacent to the railroad tracks and an open movie theater. The screen was right behind our house and sitting on the window sill of the back room, we were able to watch the movie every night. It was quite fun for us kids of course, it must not have been so for my mother. At the end of the summer, we were back to where we came from in Karsiyaka. Our parents must have decided, where we had lived was not that bad after all. Isn’t it what happens in life in many situations: Especially, young people wonder the world to find out what they had in the first place was not that bad after all… Some on the other hand travel far far away to find independence and freedom to grow and flourish. I think what happened to me is the latter in life.

 

My honorary pediatric patients, who've now grown to become wonderful adults

Levent introduced his girlfriend Suzan to Zeki (my husband) and I. We liked her right away, she was soft-spoken, sensitive, and quite fun. We started socializing. It was several months after we met her, they came to our house one night for dinner. All of a sudden, Levent uttered "Find an apartment for us from this building or next, so we can get married, too, will you?" We were kind of surprised, but nothing compared to the expression on Suzan's face: She was stunned, understandably, since we would learn in a bit, this was Levent's proposal to her! And she accepted... It was a wonderful and an unforgettable moment (I still remember where we each were in our apartment when this very conversation took place). Moments like this; being witness to such an intimate moment of friends’ history that make people best friends I guess. We couldn't find an apartment for them right in our building, but in about .5 km or so, thus, we became neighbors for a long time, from 1988 till 1998 when I left Turkey and moved to the USA. Their daughter Gulce was born in 1989 and became not only my surrogate daughter but also my patient in my pediatric office, one of my precious patients a member of a slew of kids that were my honorary patients: Ekin, Mehmet and Saniye's daughter and Umut, Yildiray and Aysegul's son among a half dozen kids. I would schedule them personally to the last visit of mostly a Saturday, so that I could spend as much time as needed not only for the kids but for us parents as well. Each of these visits would end with casual friendly catch up conversations, which I treasured throughout my tenure in my private practice. It warmed my heart when recently, Yildiray sent me a message and asked me about Umut’s immunization status! Umut being 28 years old now, I felt sad that I had not kept his card but transferred his file to my friend Demet, who took over my private practice when I left Turkey. Fortunately, when Umut visited us this past fall in Iowa City, I gave him all the info he needed to get his missing immunizations in Austria.

Yildiray and Aysegul 

The last team that joined our group was Yildiray and his family. Yildiray was a friend of Mehmet and Levent and thus became a friend of Zeki. He happened to move to our neighborhood with Aysegul, his wife and Umut, his son. Umut turned out to be my daughter Zeynep's age! Yildiray was the "baba" (father) figure in our entire group. Always mature, coming up with good ideas on everything, dependable to the T! Aysegul was a "mother" figure, taking care of all our needs when there was nobody else to take care of them, child care being one! In the end, she would indeed start a home day care and become the care provider of all our kids except for Zeynep, whose care provider was my mother already. I "fell in love with her" the moment I met Aysegul and she never failed me! Zeynep became their surrogate daughter, especially after her father and I split, Yildiray played a very significant role in Zeynep's life.

A group of us from the dinner

More importantly, Zeynep and Umut grew up together sometimes fighting, sometimes sharing, sometimes teasing, but mostly in full camaraderie and loving each other.  When we left Turkey in 1998, they were both 13 years old, but fortunately, they kept in touch through the years including face to face meetings in Istanbul or Izmir especially during Zeynep's study abroad for a year in Istanbul several years ago. Every time we meet, we share so many stories together that crack us all up… I won’t share these here, though, since there is a ban on such stories in public from Umut! Our children grew up to become competent, well-trained young men and women. Umut now is in the sales management field at an international company, working in Austria, my daughter is going through her medical education in the USA, Ekin, Mehmet and aniye's daughter is in investment banking in London, Gulce, Levent and Suzan's daughter is a lawyer, going into international studies in Istanbul. The last offspring, Baris, Ekin’s brother, who was barely a few years old when we left Turkey is in college in Istanbul as well, whom I hope will also connect to us all down the road.

 

My brother and his wife

Just as I am going through all this in my mind, we have gone through quite a bit f food at the table including the main dish, hungarian chicken paprikash. For some reason, Yildiray postpones his main dish claiming "I'd like to go slow..." that is the t=rhetoric at “raki sofrasi” while drinking raki. In the mean time, I share with my friends the crystal candle holders I brought for each family. I will keep two of them at my mother’s house and each will get two to take home so that at every house we get together from now on, we will light candles at the dinner table. these candles will be aflame in honor of the light of our friendship that enlightened our paths for so long. It turns into a touchy moment. Suzan and Aysegul are in tears, I can barely hold them back. The guys, as expected are trying to lighten the air with jokes and teasing statements, but I can tell everybody is feeling the same: We all know how precious our friendship has been for all of us. It is such a priceless experience. What is almost more important is that our kids also share the moment with us.  Their faces are full of light, understanding, and love, just like us... We know they will carry the banner of communal sharing, appreciation and bonding to the next generation…

where can one fall asleep like this but HOME? that's how we all feel at each other's home at all times...

TURKEY NOVEMBER 2013 -4- 1ST TRADITIONAL KIDS AND ALL GET TOGETHER (1. GELENEKSEL COLUK COMBALAK TOPLASMASI)

1. GELENEKSEL COLUK COMBALAK TOPLASMASI

11.11.2013

If somebody had told me a month ago all the things that happened last night would happen, I could have never believed them! I went to bed around 1 am right after my friends left last night, feeling more for them (although I was also miserable with jet lag) since 3 of my beloved friends had a 6 am flight to catch, and the rest except for the three vacationers among us, had to be at work by 8 am. Despite all the difficulty involved, they all came, after carrying the sweet anticipation in their hearts for weeks just as I did. They all brought lovely, healthy food that they had cooked with their own hands just like I did, for all of us, our commune of 25 years of age. The only pronoun uttered throughout the night was "us" and "we" and "our" just as in the old days. Tears were abundant, but all full of love, longing, and happiness. Laughter was much more abundant, throughout the night, at times reaching the level of screaming in ecstasy, thanks to two of our kids, who played quite a trick on not only us but also on each other! When they did the most unexpected, put all aside and chose to be with us against all odds...

 

Yildiray and Aysegul

Around 6:30, they started trickling in. Aysegul and Yildiray, Umut's parents came in first. I had met Yildiray through my ex-husband Zeki, who then introduced his lovely wife Aysegul to us. Of course, Aysegul's arms full of sacks, full of her hearty food dishes. We "mourned" over the fact that Zeynep and Umut, our kids weren't able to come, Umut due to his hectic work schedule in Europe, Zeynep due to the distance and schedule conflicts in America. "Oh well" we calmed ourselves down, surely there would be more times to get together with kids and all. We knew at least two kids of our commune were coming, Gulce and Ekin, 5-6 years younger than Umut and Zeynep. We would hug them for all the rest.  

Suzan and Levent

Suzan and Levent followed along with their beautiful daughter Gulce, inside and out. Her height was at 25th percentile throughout her toddlerhood. Despite all my predictions that she would probably reach an adult height of 5'2" or 3", she is now 5'8" tall ! Well pediatricians fail sometimes, too… We laugh… We do have 8 pounds of baklava from Gaziantep, the baklava capital of Turkey! Hopefully, the boys will have enough and won't have to fight over it. We all lovingly recall a time when we had gone out to dinner during one of my recent visits to Turkey. Susan had brought 8 pounds of baklava, 4 for us after dinner, 4 as a gift to other friends of theirs to be delivered the next day. We saw very quickly the first 4-lb box being cleared empty. Yildiray and Mehmet were complaining that they had not had enough: However, somebody noticed that their plates were still full of baklava. In no time, Levent discovered that Yildiray and Mehmet had stolen the other box and were serving themselves more and more baklava from under the table! Good thing, he recognized that soon enough, the second box also found its way to ALL of our tummies, certainly with a larger share for Yildiray and Mehmet. When 50 year-old adults act like kids, you know they are with best friends, that’s who we have been for one another for a quarter of a century now, what a bliss…

Ekin, Mehmet and Saniye

The last team we are expecting is Mehmet and Saniye and their children, Ekin, for sure, and perhaps Baris, their son, too.  Around 7, we receive a phone call from Mehmet, who finally declares, he is lost. It becomes clear that instead of following my brother's crystal clear directions, he chose to follow his GPS, which was constantly sending him to a section of town quite opposite of where we were. Eventually, his wife and daughter giving him quite a hell made him accept that a human brain still needs to be monitoring these techno junkies and called us to get the directions. Of course we meet them all  with quite a bit of laughter and "boooo" for Mehmet taking the remaining of his self-esteem away from the poor guy. Saniye and Ekin are very pleased since they had been struggling with his technology obsession for over half an hour. Baris is missing unfortunately, I am sure, for our second get-together, he will be with us after hearing all of our stories.

Female gang before Zeynep's arrival

After all the greeting hugs and kisses and mini-catch-up conversations, I finally feel having arrived home with them all. The first round of raki is being served gradually, thanks to my brother Mehmet. He is taking care of the ice-cold water, cold raki, ice cubes and all. Levent has already devoured multiple pieces of borek. Several of the men are still teasing our friend Mehmet, for his submission to technology and getting  lost. Just as we are settling down, the door-bell rings that sends a cold shiver down my spine: "Who could that be? other than an unexpected, most likely unwanted spontaneous visitor, which potentially might spoil our evening?" Knowing, the visitor is at the ground floor entrance of the apartment building, I volunteer "let's not open the door" knowing too well, that is not possible in Turkey and Kezban my sister-in-law is already at the door letting the unexpected visitor in anyway.

Raki is a must in Turkish get togethers


There is something unusual, though, Kezban's voice, which is neutral and dull in her "who is it?" escalates into a full-of-pleasant-surprise, rather, feeling-pleasantly-stunned in the following "what do you mean it's me? oh my..." as she opens the door: All of this triggers curiosity in all of us but especially me. I peek through the living room door into the vestibule when Kezban has already opened the door, through which I see something, which makes me feel disoriented. For a second, I ask myself, “where am I, aren’t I in Izmir?” since it is my mischievous daughter, Zeynep, who is entering our vestibule with the most delighted chuckle on her face! It is like a dream, I still can't believe what I see, the little devil, she really tricked me… but I am as delightful as surprised. My entire gang is in our small vestibule now, trying to get a piece of Zeynep. Nobody believes, this is as much a surprise for me as it is for them. Delightful screams, hugs, kisses, laughter fill the space now. I am almost sure Umut will be coming, too, however Zeynep totally denies that. Umut's parents? They do, too, the excuse is, he has to come to Turkey next week, he couldn’t make to trips back to back. Two weeks in a row was not an option. Although, I am ecstatic with Zeyno's arrival, I am a bit disappointed that Umut  is not coming since he was the instigator of all this planning by stirring all the emotions from 15-20 years back a few months ago in the first place... I really wish he could have been with us. For some reason, I still have hope…

My crazy but lovely daughter's arrival brought tears to many eyes... happy ones, certainly...