STORMS SOMETIMES COME IN THE FORM OF A YOUNG BEAUTY

STORMS SOMETIMES COME IN THE FORM OF A YOUNG BEAUTY

As I am trying to work with Zeynep to see what my options are, a gentleman approaches the booth stating he did online check-in, but couldn't print off his boarding passes, is there a way to print off his boarding passes so he can go to the gate. The answer is no. This is not the check-in booth and they can't do that. We understand, although it takes a few times to help the gentleman to settle down with the answer. We are both hanging around to see what our destiny is going to be in the hands of Zeynep and the handsome, as-a-matter-of-factly Portugese boss of hers, whose sparingly used words are addressed only to Zeynep not to us. As I start feeling as if the four of us are part of a scenario reminscent of Eugine O'Neil's plays, a storm rushes in in the form of a young, wild, upset, fidgety Turkish beauty. She looks very much like Zeynep, my daughter, slender, medium height, dark voluminous, long straight hair in a pony tail. The difference is that as beautiful as they are, her eyes are so heavily made up, I can hardly see her irises. Yet, I can see the lightening sparkling out of her eyes toward the Portuguese guy. And her words reaching Zeynep, the receptionist and her handsome boss are as fiery as her eyes.

She is interrogating Zeynep and her boss with a very high pitched voice: "I heard from my fiancee, who is on Turkish Airline (TA) flight coming from Istanbul (that is our plane that would have taken us to Istanbul!). He told me they came to Lisbon, they saw the Lisbon bridge, then the plane started falling!  Everybody was crying and screaming! and, and at the last minute the pilot decided they couldn't land and they took off and now they are in Faro! Everybody wants to get out, but they aren't opening the doors! (Hmmm, that may be a sign of imminent take off being expected?) How can TA be so irresponsible to let this flight take off and put lives in danger! Didn't TA know about the upcoming storm when all the Lisbonites knew about it!" All these questions are actually not questions but a slap on the face of the flabergasted Portuguese. As he is trying to interrupt her to get a word or two in, she goes on and on and on... Our handsome boss is getting more and more tense with this unfair attack, I can see.

Initial encounter between the angry beauty and the Portuguese Manager at the TA ticket booth was just like this

Zeynep is comfortable because the "storm" is addressing the "man", assuming he'd be the boss not the woman behind the counter, which turns out to be a true assumption in this case but not always. Don't we drift into that bias all too frequently? I have an embarrasing memory related to that. Interestingly, it is about how I met my hostess Teresa. I was giving a course on how to build multidisciplinary/interagency collaborative teams to address abusive head trauma at an international conference that was held in Turkey. I knew there was a group from Portugal in the audience. At the end of the session, this group started walking toward me: An elegant but small built woman, around my age, in the front, a tall younger woman and two tall men, one younger, the other, close to my age, walking right behind the small woman. The tall "older" man was at least a head above the small woman. She pointed to me with her index finger and said in a decisive voice "We want you in Portugal." "Wow" I thought "I'd never been invited to any country with this decisiveness" smiling. I did something terrible right at that point: I said "Sure, I'd be delighted, what I can I do for Portugal?" There was nothing wrong with the wording of course, but I was addressing the man behind, who turned out to be Teresa's junior!! ...because my subconscious under the bombardment of decades of gender roles, despite my mildly feminist approach to gender roles had failed me. I woke up to reality, when the tall man, who turned out to be my, now, dear friend Agostino, with an understanding smile on his face pointed his index finger down toward Teresa's head without luckily Teresa knowing it. Of course as soon as I got to know Teresa better, I told her this story and apologized for my bias profusely. Fortunately, this wasn't the first time Agostino was treated as the boss by strangers, I was forgiven.

So now, after calling poor Teresa several times to see what kind of planning we may do to make sure I leave Turkey on Monday without losing my chance to fly, we hear for the first time from this stormy beauty that those that had already checked in are just sitting at the gate, there is no aircraft for them to board. Just as our overmade beauty continues her attacks on the Portuegese boss, Zeynep guides me to not rush into making a plan right now and be patient. She tells me if we change my flight to tomorrow, say, and if this current flight manages to make it tonight, I will  lose my chance. They promise me, if I have to stay in Lisbon, all hotel expenses will be covered.  OK, I will wait, some more meditation around the corner helps although it is difficult to totally calm down when the beauty is still screaming at the desk.

In all this chaos, I feel for all parties and try to calm down this disappointed and scared young woman (in her 20s) to make things easier for everybody. If not, it looks like she may give non-stop hell to especially those behind the counter. The boss indeed has already had enough, he tells her he is not the one to make such decisions. He is doing his best with everybody else to make sure everybody is safe and to assess whether there is a way to bring the aircraft back to Lisbon. If there is they will do it as soon as possible. I turn my attention to our disappointed youth. She reiterates her story once more, her fear and anxiety are palpable. But more comes out this time.

She is in Portugal on an Erasmus exchange program. Her boyfriend was to visit her for only three days (one of the three is gone already, she makes sure to mention), she has reserved a hotel room for the two of them. And look what is happening now. She prefers him to be safe and go back home instead of coming to Lisbon and die. I caress her arm to show my empathy and understanding of her difficulty, this is acceptable in Turkish culture between women. I can see her calming down and the fire in her subsiding gradually, already. Eventually, she tells me and the other gentleman, who is also waiting, "well, if nothing else, you can come with me, I have a room reserved anyway" this brings a chuckle to all of us. I can't help saying "Oh, my, you don't want to spend your evening with two old academics, I am sure your love will make it here tonight." She smiles, she is hopeful, just as we are, too. Eventually, I tell her "you know there is good in every evil, you may discover this as early as tonight when you get together, your reunion may be much more delicious than it would have been. Or, later... As soon as this crisis is resolved, you will have a fun story to tell throughout your lives." She doesn't agree with the fun part, but, "a story to tell", she does buy with a warm, appreciating smile.

Around five o'clock, something unexpected happens, the boss after motioning Zeynep to behind the divide, he comes out with an offer: "We can check you in for the flight just in case it arrives here tonight, but if we do, you will lose your chance to have TA cover your hotel expenses in case the aircraft can not make it." I don't even think about it. I accept, this offer in and of itself tells me that there is a good chance of the aircraft arriving in Lisbon TONIGHT.  We already have learned that Faro airport had become refuge to some 25 aircrafts lined next to each other wing to wing. Both Faro airport and all airlines are motivated to get their aircrafts out of there and back to Lisbon. From that point on something unheard of happens. The ticket-booth staff become check-in staff, with help from other airlines' check-in staff since Zeynep has no idea of what she needs to do to check me in and to print off the other gentleman's boarding passes. At 5:15, we are at the gate with our boarding passes, the worst may be over. I turn on my I-pad and send e-mail messages to all, who needs to know where I am and what the next 24 hours look like.

The dead check-in counter enlivens with Zeynep finding another handsome Portuguese to check us in

I don't know how things at the airport turned around like this. From, check-in out of question, you will stay at a hotel and will continue tomorrow to being at the gate... Was it simply the boss wanted to get rid of us and save the hotel costs for two people? Was it the fact that what we shared with them with calm and no pressure reached their human side and they used whatever was in their capacity to help us? Was it something else? I don't know, I will never know, I want to believe it was the latter just because I want to continue believing in the good in my species. 

From that point on, it is a boring story. We arrived in Istanbul at 2:30 to discover that our luggage had not arrived. My netbook and I-phone in it, not good. But what can we do? My meditating self continued being calm at 3 am in the morning, when everybody else entering the lost and found office of TA was a storm, and disrespectful at that.  I felt for the guy helping us and told him so, too. "I wish people could understand that you simply are trying to help them and are not responsible for the lost luggage." He was very appreciative that at least one person was understanding him. Forms are filled and I will have to be patient and hopeful that the best airline of Europe, two years in a row, will find my luggage and get it to my address in Iowa City (They do, too, in three days after my return, my luggage is at my door). It was great to learn that TA would pay for a hotel room by the Golden Horn. Hilton Garden Inn in Sutluce, where sultans and Istanbulite elites used to picnic and enjoy sunny sundays hosted some 100 victims of air travel at 5 am on the 20th of January 2013. I will sleep until 9 and wake up to catch the shuttle that will take me back to the airport for another 18 some hours of air travel. One lesson I learned, never again, two countries in one week. I am getting too old for this. One country a week, or if two countries, take time off for two weeks. That is my resolution out of all this, which I will eventually recall as good memories full of good deeds and learning about others, about myself, yet again, about the world, and nature, and businesses, and who knows what else.

PORTUGAL IN WINTER: UNEXPECTED TORNADO

PORTUGAL IN WINTER: UNEXPECTED TORNADO

Early in the morning, I witness yet, another adorable aspect of Portuguese people or is it only in o Porto? Jose will come pick me up at 7:10 to take me to the station so that I can catch my train at 7:45. I am ready at the lobby at 6:50. The tall slender gentleman at the reception greets me and asks me if somebody is picking me up. After I tell him the plan, he has an anxious look on his face. He reports, the gate to the campus doesn't open until 8 am! O-ooo, that is not good. What are we going to do? He makes couple of phone calls, no solution. I am ready to go to the gate with him, for sure Jose must be out there not knowing what to do. But the receptionist is extremely anxious about the weather. He doesn't want to take me out in this "horrible and dangerous weather". I don't quite understand, all I see is that there is a bit of wind and it is raining. Portuguese, enjoying pleasant weather conditions throughout the year, I guess, are so spoiled a bit of disruption becomes a storm for them. I recall, Teresa's worried face about the anticipation of terrible weather from last night. We had even discussed whether Francine's flight to Netherlands would be delayed out of o Porto or not, Teresa thought not since the "storm" was expected to end before noon. I even asked if there is any expectation that trains may be delayed. Teresa dismissed this possibility with confidence. Good, "trust the locals" has always been my motto in all my international travels.

So, after a full night's storm that I heard none of, this must be it. I still do not understand how bad  it could be, though, not knowing what is lying ahead of me that will make this a day from 6:30 am until 5 am the next morning. Well, being the local, he is the boss; he tells me, he will go to the gate under the rain and wind and let Jose in. I will wait in the warmth of the casa and he will save me the bad trip. Sweet man. As soon as he leaves, I leave a note on his desk with my thanks and a generous tip, I know he won't take it if I give it to him face to face. That is how people in o Porto are, still living with the beautiful small town mentality with utmost hospitality that in large cities, I crave for. After my many many "muyt obrigada"s and a warm hug, one good man with a smile on his face hands me to another good man, Jose, with yet another smile on his face, who will see to it that I not only get to my train but into my compartment and will even make sure my luggage is placed securely. He gets a warm hug, too, how in the world can I not give heart-felt hugs to such good people?

 
Alfa train between Lisboa and o Porto, on the way to gave me a heaven, on the way back, something of a hell

I start working on my travel diary right away and notice that the train has left late, only when it moves around 8:15 instead of 7:45. I am curious about why for a second, but somehow I am so calm, don't inquire too  much; will find out soon and gradually it will dawn on me how severe a weather Portugal is capable of experiencing that I never foresaw. Gradually the meaning of the red alarm Teresa had mentioned the night before starts sinking in. I couldn't understand then what could be lying ahead, when it seemed like all there was, was a drizzle of rain and 10 km/hour or so of wind. Now the news comes in in bits and pieces as the train moves forward at 20 km/h instead of its usual 140-150. Our conductor and his assistant bring new information as it becomes available: Cables have been knocked down across the railroad, all trains are delayed or stuck in inappropriate locations blocking the way for the alfa train. Initially, we expect all will be good; The assistant to the conductor tells me "Don't worry we'll get you to LIsbon today". Today? That is nto good enough for me my friend, I must be there before 1 pm. He changes his rhetoric "Even with a 2 hour delay, you will be fine". I do hope so, I must to save all involved a lot of trouble. 

These were the kind of waves I saw through the window of my cabin on alfa train, certainly no surfers were in sight

The brief stretch that the railway runs right along the ocean gives me a good idea on what happened the night before and what still is happening. The ocean has swelled up through the night. I have never seen this side of Atlantic this swelled up, no wonder, I have never been to Portugal in the winter time. The waves are huge, about ten feet high, the entire ocean is thrusting itself with non-stop waves of surf beating up the beach. Vineyards and orange orchards have flooded to the south of o Porto all the way to Coimbra, to which we finally  manage to get around 11 am. Some severe weather did indeed take place, perhaps not in o Porto but very nearby is my initial daignosis not knowing what else I will witness, yet. Fortunately, my flight is at 2:55, so if, we manage to leave Coimbra at our usual pace soon, I still hope I can make it to my flight. How naive an expectation it will turn out to be, I don't know, yet.

Flooded fields looked exactly like this
At around 11:30, I decide to call Teresa and let her know of the situation so that I can get an insider's guidance. The best thing I did all morning. When I finally reach her, she tells me she is sending a driver from Coimbra to drive me to Lisbon. This decision is simultaneous with the assistant conductor bringing the news about the fallen trees from the storm blocking the railroad system. Wow, trees have fallen down, too, what is awaiting me, my goodness. Am I going to be able to make it to my flight? I am just a bit anxious now... meditation helps. The lovely assistant conductor, with an impeccable English helps me with my luggage and takes me to the meeting point. In 20 minutes the driver will meet me at the ticket office. Alas, by the time another good soul comes to pick me up it is 1 o'clock. He assures me that in 1.5 hours we will be at the airport. Knowing that my flight is already delayed to 3:30 calms me down a bit, just a bit.  



The roads I was on turne dinto parking lot just like this, except that this picture is from inland hit by the same storm that crippled all of Western Europe on Jan 20th 

I start losing hope as we head south; we spend half an hour to cover a stretch of couple of kms, another in yet another strecth. the more we travel, the more I realize the graveness of the situation. Tres lying on the highway, some cut and put aside, some still brushing the surface, tree batches with their tops torn and thrown... It downs on me that Portugal had a tornado last night. Whenever he can, my driver Raul hits the floor with the gas pedal driving at 160 even 180 km/hour. I wonder if this will be my end, not in the storm with his driving. But I can't tell him, slow down. Eventually, we arrive at the airport at 3 pm. Sure enough, the check-in booth has closed for the day for Turkish Airlines (TA). I go to the ticket booth. Check-in is out of the question, since it was closed at 2:15, Zeynep, the wonderful Turkish woman, who works for TA tells me. OK, I understand, I have traveled enough to know that once check-in is closed it is indeed closed, nothing can reverse it. There is talk that the flight may be canceled anyway due to weather conditions. I tell her my story. If I can't get to Turkey tonight, I will lose my chance to fly to the USA tomorrow as well. She is checking all alternatives, she is very helpful.

MY ELEGANT HOSTESS IN PORTUGAL

MY ELEGANT HOSTESS IN PORTUGAL

Tiago, Isabel, and I are home by the end of our conversation, after this brief ride. Teresa's apartment is very elegantly and artistically furnished with lots of antique artifacts from both of her and her husband's families. Antonio is also a physician, a surgeon, always smiling and much more relaxed than Teresa. With Teresa's fire, she really needs a laid back man to calm her down at times, just like Bill used to do with me. When I puttered around the house for too long, he'd come upstairs telling me "I feel guilty working on my project downstairs when you run up and down doing things aroudn the house." He would then wrap his arms around my waist from my back and pull me onto the sofa gently ordering "Sit for a while, it will feel good". That is the lovely man he was. We would chuckle and I would indeed slow down a bit and with his help we would finish up with everything in no time.

Yet, I am nowhere near Teresa. I have never met a woman who is more of a go-getter than Teresa, of course this makes her constantly multi-tasking and problem solving even when she is socializing. Antonio jokes about his wife's traveling schedule. "When she returns home, she is home only to start planning for the next trip". Teresa is one of the most unique women I have ever met in academic life. She is short, slender, beautiful (another Portuguese woman with royal beauty) and elegant. With all these outwardly deceptive features about who she really is, there is an amazon inside of her head and heart. She is as assertive as can any woman can get without jeopardizing her feminine elegance, remarkably intelligent with an extremely high mental, social, and emotional Q. She is a born-organizer and leader, one of the main locomotives of the field of child protection as it relates to forensic sciences in Portugal. It is a delight to work with such a soul mate in terms of what our aspirations are.

At the 19th World Chidl Abuse Conference Teresa, Antonia, and I attended in Istanbul.

Jose and his girlfriend Diena are also home, sweet, the entire family is meeting me this time. Jose has grown quite a bit since I last saw him, more manly now. Diena is very sweet, too. Of course since she is younger than Isabel there is an adolescently innocent air to her. Teresa calls her "Lady D". Thinking of Isabel's royal beauty I chime in "well, it looks like you are gathering royal girls under your wings". Isabel jumps in and says "There is Queen Isabel, too." We all laugh, I can tell how proud Teresa is with the girlfriend choices her boys have made. What I am looking at indeed is a perfect family picture.

The greatest surprise is to see Patricia with her 3 week-old daughter Maria Carolina walking in 15 minutes after my arrival. Patricia is a junior faculty at the Institute of Legal Medicine, the head of which is Teresa. I had hosted Patricia at my house when she did a mini-fellowship at my program at the University of Iowa over a 3 week period, two years ago. We became two sisters and enjoyed each other's company greatly during that time and she has a special place in my heart. It was so sweet to meet Maria Carolina and have our pictures taken with her. As we are finishing our red Porto wine, Patricia decides to go back home to have dinner with her partner Diego and keep her daughter's schedule uninterrupted. Warm hugs and good byes. I will have to give my gift for Maria to Teresa's secretary Maria to be delivered to Patricia when she can.

Maria Carolina, Patricia and I, with my mask I was using to prevent my laryngitis virus from making the little baby sick.


We have a delicious zucchini based soup as the first dish for our dinner along with a lovely bread Jose cooked for us. Portuguese cuisine has so many lovely vegetable based pureed soups, I love it. Main dish is cod fish baked in a creamy sauce and covered with a crunchy, delicious cheese crust. It is delicious along with Teresa's salad.  Teresa explains she made the soup and prepared the fish the night before only to warm up one and bake the other after her meeting at the TV station. This is her efficiency, which is quite familiar. We exchange our gifts, which has become our routine. I brought a Turkish hand made ornamental plate for her, and she gave me a pair of ear rings, that look quite royal as well. I will wear them to the conference for sure to bring a smile to Teresa's face. In a little bit, their cat climbs up on the table where Teresa placed the plate I brought. It is sniffing the plate, Antonio explains: "She has to familiarize herself with anything new that comes into this house." How perceptive of him, and another evidence every pet has a personality of their own.

We chat about economy in Portugal. It looks like they still are not out of the woods. Income tax rate has been increased to 50%, a lot of benefits for state employees are being eliminated. I learn that Portuguese health system is one of the best covering all expenses even for transplant surgery. Another surprising piece of information I obtain is that for decades in Portugal, state employees had received 14 salaries for working for 12 months a year. One of the two extra salary bonuses was for vacation expenses and the other for education. What a humane state structure. But no more, all of these are disappearing. They are now moving toward introducing co-payments into the health care system. Unfortunately, they are also looking into reducing the costs of the educational system as well. And they are back to 13 salaries instead of 14 this year, most likely to go down to 12 in the near future. As a result of unemployment reaching 20-30% for first-time employees that is for young people, a lot of professionals are moving out of Portugal to countries like England, Switzerland, Belgium, and Germany. Finally around 11 pm, we decide to end this lovely reunion and Tiago and Isabel drop me off at my hotel to rest in order to be ready for the big day tomorrow.

Third national Child Abuse Conference organized by the Portuguese Society for Prevention of Child Abuse & Neglect led by Propfessor Magalhaes


The conference goes very well.  The audience is impressive. There are two high rank administrators from the National Children's Services, two high rank prosecutors who are employed by the Ministry of Justice, physicians, lawyers, psychologists, social workers, etc. I am glad especially the high rank administrators hear my comments on how corporal punishment lead the way to physical and emotional abuse but more so my comments on multidisciplinary, interagency approach to address child abuse. I can't believe how the key individuals in the audience share my comments on multidisciplinary approach almost verbatim. Another wonderful news is that apparently the Portuguese government has signed into law the European Parliament's directive on how European countries should address sexual exploitation of children, which also focuses on multidisciplinary management and Portugal reportedly has to implement this multidisciplinary approach until the end of 2013. I am very hopeful for Portugal in terms of improving their response to child sexual abuse to start with. Teresa is delighted with the presentations and discussions. So am I. Another aspect I am very happy about is that the little Spanish I have turns out to be so helpful. I can follow about 95% of what is on the slides and I am gradually understanding more and more of the spoken language, too. Here is my resolution, I will get back to my Spanish studies as soon as I get over my jet lag when I go home.